Peace and Tranquility

 Since my last post I have been mostly hibernating!
This last Winter was wild, wet and windy down here in Cornwall, and I've found myself hiding indoors a lot.  I love to listen to the wind howling around the house, and the rain lashing against the windows while I'm all snuggled up warm and safe inside.

I love Winter, but this last one has had an unusual effect on my psyche - I've succumbed to the constant rain and storms, and I've looked forward to the Spring - which I have to say felt like a long time getting here.  

I spent a lot of my time indoors writing my journal and reading about a simpler life of less consumerism and more grow-your-own.  And also reflecting on how little socialising we did last year - too few barbecues with friends and family, hardly any firepit gatherings.  And so we resolved to change that this year.

It's now almost the end of May, and just over half way through Spring - and already we have had a few social gatherings, barbecues and at least two firepits to sit around.  The sun shines longer into the afternoon and evening which seems to fill the soul with warmth, love and hope for better times.

We've planted tomatoes and peas, kale and courgettes (not loads, but enough for us) and for once our pear tree looks like it might bear fruit.  (Our apple tree did OK last year, but we didn't eat a single one!)

This year I'm hoping to brew some mead, and see if the homebrew red wine kit I was given a couple of years ago will still produce something drinkable.

Our solar panels and battery banks are already saving us money, we are actively reducing the amount of water we use, and are well on top of the home maintenance jobs that keep our home clean, tidy and in good repair.

All in all we are healthy and happy, and with that comes a sense of peace, tranquility and wellbeing.

It hasn't taken much to achieve this - a shift in perspective, a realisation of what's important and what's just mental clutter.  Prioritising our needs to encompass the outdoors into the equation so we have fresh air, sunlight, and birdsong to lift our spirits.

I think this year is going to feel far more alive than last year, and for that I am extremely grateful!

Happy New Year!

Hi!

It has been a long time since I last wrote a post on this blog.  Mostly because I have lacked inspiration concerning what to write about.

Most of my blog posts only get a few views - and I wonder whether there's any real point to my writing. But then I have to ask myself this question.  "Am I writing because I want lots of views, or am I writing because I want to write?"

The answer to that has varied somewhat over the years - At one point I wanted views, and so I signed up to some blog promotion service, and sure enough if you look back to a few posts I wrote in July and August 2017 I was getting 1300 to 2900 views.  Wow!  But then I realised they were just bot visits, not real people, and that made me understand that I'd rather have a few genuine readers than thousands of auto-clicks.

I also went through a phase of thinking what I had to say was either vitally important to the survival of the World, or was so funny and insightful, I was going to be discovered by some talent-spotter as the next Eddie/Billy/Michael touring the comedy circuit.

Sadly I was a fool.  But hey, that's OK! - We can all dream. 

Now I realise I just like writing, and yes, most of it is rubbish, but that's OK.  One day I hope my daughter reads my blog, and I guess it's always been about her.  My parents died when I was 6 (I might have mentioned that before?) and that was in 1970.  I know next to nothing about them. There's nothing written down, no letters, certainly no Facebook or Twitter or blog posts.  I had a photo album but that got lost a 30 odd years ago.  I want my daughter to know me - so I write. 

It's for posterity!

So - the title of this post is Happy New Year - today is December 27th and I write this in a quiet moment whilst I'm at work.  I retired from my job as an IT Service Desk support tech in May this year and returned to the same job but for 11 hours a week.  I put my request in around this time in 2018 so it took the best part of half a year to get sorted, plus a few more months to get the finances sorted and running smoothly.  I'm happy to say that as the year end approaches, we're doing alright.

My health has been good - my regular post-cancer check ups all show me remaining disease free.  I've put on a bit of weight through poor diet and lack of exercise, but I'm sure my New Year resolutions will soon sort that out - ha ha ha!

Looking back, we've had a few holidays - all in the UK, we've had quite a few good laughs - barbecues,firepits and games nights with our family, and some with our closest friends the Kellows, and I have to say overall it's been a very good year.

I hope, if you're reading this, that you too have had a good year - filled with adventure, laughter, love, prosperity and good health.  My wish for you is that 2020 is even better!

Happy New Year!!

Terrorism, Diplomacy and the Importance of Communication.

Before I start writing about this, I do not profess to be an expert on any of this, nor do I claim to be right about these things – I’m just throwing some ideas out there.  I’m hoping it might encourage people to think of different methods to get their point across.  I’m not implying that an act of terrorism or brutality is the same as a child throwing a tantrum – it’s just an analogy.

What is terrorism?  It’s an act, or series of acts, designed to instil terror or fear.

What is the point of terrorism?  To use fear to gain something – but what?  With the IRA attacks it was to bring about opposing British rule in Ireland.

(https://www.thoughtco.com/guide-to-the-irish-republican-army-3209135)

Eventually though, it was negotiation, diplomacy and communication that brought about an end to hostilities and the removal of British troops from Northern Ireland.  A change in the way a government thinks, a compromise, a bit of give and take.

Next up, Brexit – we hear daily about “negotiations” with the EU about what the UK wants as part of its exit deal.  There seems to be an awful lot of demanding and not much agreeing going on. 

Finally, there’s the terrorist attacks by ISIS.  We are suffering these atrocities – but in the name of what?  What do they want to gain by it?  As far as I can tell, no one has actually said what they want to gain.  So, is it terrorism just for the hell of it, or is there something they want?  If the latter, then maybe someone needs to ask the question – “What do you want?” And actually open a discussion with the people organising all this.  Few negotiations are clean – they often involve disagreements, compromises, and base-lines that one side or the other refuses to budge on.  But until we start communicating, nothing is really being achieved – other than senseless killing of innocent people.

When my daughter decided to throw a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket over something she wanted there and then, I didn’t cave into her demands (fear of embarrassment, desire for a quiet life, escape from accusing/disapproving stares) and I didn’t respond with aggression (shouting, smacking, threats of “just wait ‘til I get you home!”  No.  What I did was kneel down in front of her and I said “Let’s pop  outside for a minute” and I took her, kicking and screaming, outside.

There, once the audience was gone, she calmed down a bit.  I quietly explained that I wasn’t going to give in to her tantrums – we could either go back into the store and finish our shopping, or we could go home without anything nice for tea.  We finished our shopping in peace.  When we got home, I praised her for her new behaviour, and said that if she wanted something another time, to ask for it – but if I didn’t think she should have it, I would give her a reason why.  We never had another tantrum.

I don’t believe violence and aggression is a valid way to get what you want.  It’s bullying – something we are all against (unless we’re the bully of course!)  Violence does not build trust and respect.  It doesn’t make people want to listen to your reasons or believe your beliefs – it does the opposite. 

Peaceful negotiation, simple discussion, being open and honest about your needs and wants – being prepared to give some ground here to gain some there – accept compromise where possible and be firm, but polite, on the things you cannot yield.

But what if terrorism is just for the hell of it?  Like the school bully that hurts you just because they like to see you cry? Because it makes them feel in control? I can’t answer that I’m afraid.  When I was bullied, I just put up with it until one day something sparked inside the bully’s head – he looked at me as the tears roll down my cheeks and asked me why I was crying.  I told him that repeatedly thumping me in the arm hurt.  A lot.  And for some reason, this made him stop – just like that.  No more bullying from him again.  Do we just put up with the bombings and driving vehicles into crowds of people, hoping one day that the organisers of these acts see that it’s achieving nothing real in the big scheme of things? 

Will it just, one day, stop?
I hope so – I hope that day is today.  But never once did I think hitting that bully back would do anything other than make him hit me harder and more often.