Breaking the Cycle

I was thinking about why I rarely write anymore.  Why I don't make scale models the way I used to - with care and attention.  Why, when I cook a meal, I do it half-hearted these days.  What's changed?

I was astounded to look at this blog a while ago and realise I'd not written a single word in over a year! My first thought was to blame the pandemic.  Being cooped up indoors mostly, the days all blurring into one.  Constantly looking ahead to when things will be better.  But that wasn't to blame.  If anything, lockdown afforded me more time to write, more time to make models, more time to reflect on the changes happening around me.

No, what I had was complacency.  My mind had become lazy.  Watching TV every evening, drinking alcohol most evenings, rarely going out for exercise/no exercise.  Slowly descending into a slump I didn't even see happening.  I was waiting for things to improve, for the sun to come out, for lockdown restrictions to ease, for the shops to open.  Always waiting.

This morning, having written my previous post on COVID in a bit of a drunken blur the other night, I realised I needed to stop waiting for something to happen that would change things for me.

I had to act.  Now.

Left to it's own devices, things would continue as they are indefinitely.  The sun would come out (has done countless times already) but that won't get me out of the house walking the dog, because when the sun did come out, I'd find some other excuse not to go out.  Restrictions have eased, but I've still not contacted my friends about popping around for coffee.  I feel comfortable in my slump.  It's become familiar, like hiding under the duvet.  The New Normal.  (I really hate that phrase!)

Today, I decided I'm going to be the change I'm waiting for. (ooh, almost a cliché)
I'm going to break the cycle of Get Up, Eat, Work, Eat, TV, Drink, Sleep, Repeat.  I'm not going to let the blurring continue.  

I'm going to make a conscious effort to be aware of my passing moments, To think about what is happening in this day and be grateful for it; and I think the emphasis needs to be on the word conscious.  To be aware that I'm mentally lazy and complacent and do something about it - because every day I allow to blur into another, is a day I've wasted.  

Well, that's my plan, so let's see how I get on.  If my next post on this blog is in a year's time you'll know I've not kept to it!

COVID - May 2021

 May 2021
Great Britain - Cornwall

We have entered the third phase of our lockdown easing of restrictions just a few days ago.  We can now meet up to 6 people from two households indoors, eat in, go to the cinema.  The end is in sight.

Instead of hundreds, thousands dying daily, we have less than 20.  We might be at the end of that tunnel at long last.

For 14 months we have been a World gripped by a virus - one that not only kills, but disables and destroys - via long-term after effects. via fear, by dividing nations. Rich vs Poor, Black vs White.  But the virus doesn't care who it infects.  I'm not here to discuss social injustice - this isn't a soapbox - it's just a page to write upon.

Over a year of not eating out and feeling safe.  Not going to the cinema.  No holidays abroad.
Wearing masks in shops.  Hand sanitiser.  Washing hands more than usual.
Walking into the road to pass someone on the pavement.  Not shaking hands or hugging.
Working from home.

I am a non-sociable person.  I don't get out much - so for me a year of lockdown is a year of not having to make excuses why I can't go to the work's night out.  But even I have found that it has affected me in ways I find disturbing.  If friends come by to say Hi now, I still keep my distance.  The thought of having someone in my home is scary.  I want to wipe everything that might be contaminated with anti-bacterial wipes.

This isn't going away any time soon!

When we talk about holidays - the thought of going abroad, getting on a crowded plane with self-contained air is like asking me to lick a petri dish pulled out of a CDC incubator.  Why?  Not only do I not want to catch this virus, but I wouldn't want to spread it either.  

Watching TV series now, like NCIS and Station 19 and Grays Anatomy - all filmed during COVID, with them all wearing masks and social distancing - we'll re-watch these in years to come and say "Oh yeah, that was the pandemic" - and we'll forget that we had a year of isolation and fear, buying everything online and not going out unless we had to. Of people all over the world dying in the thousands every day.

I am humbled by how well we've coped with this.  How well we have adapted and how hard we have worked to keep it under control, and how hard we have worked to keep things going in the face of this world-wide life-threatening virus.  I am proud of the people that have striven to protect us, treat us when we're ill, develop a vaccine, secure jobs, keep industry going, keep the economy afloat, maintain our way of life as best they can.

I want to say Thank You - to every single person out there that did something - no matter how small, to keep us going, that kept us safe, throughout this bleakest of bleak, harsh, devastating years.

Thank You!

2020

2020 has been an unusual year.

I spent a week with a bad back, unable to get up off the floor.  I could barely even turn from one side to the other - and if I didn't have my wife nearby to look after me I would have been in dire straits indeed.

The weather was very kind to us here in Cornwall - we've had some wild, wet and windy weather but no where near as bad as the rest of the country has.

Luckily all our major celebrations fell whilst not in lockdown - birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc - we managed to spend them all with our close family and friends.

My daughter coped well with home schooling, and I'm OK working from home.  My wife's business is doing well, unaffected by COVID and Brexit (so far - fingers crossed!)

We even managed to get some home improvements done, and a trip to Alton Towers for Scarefest!
I suppose me being a bit socially awkward has meant lockdown hasn't affected me as much as it could have, and my daughter, being a teenager, spends her life in her bedroom online anyway!

I'm wondering what next year will bring?  We have a couple of covid vaccines available in the UK now, and a trade deal with the EU, so it's not all doom and gloom.  Will we be free to travel again or be stuck in our tiers for the whole year?  Will our Year 11 kids get to do their exams or have their years work assessed instead?

I think it's the unknown that gets to me the most.  Not knowing if we'll be able to have our friends over for a barbeque in the summer.

So, I shall sign off this very late, long overdue entry with another New Year wish - that 2021 is a massive improvement for everyone!

Happy New Year! 

Happy New Year!

Hi!

It has been a long time since I last wrote a post on this blog.  Mostly because I have lacked inspiration concerning what to write about.

Most of my blog posts only get a few views - and I wonder whether there's any real point to my writing. But then I have to ask myself this question.  "Am I writing because I want lots of views, or am I writing because I want to write?"

The answer to that has varied somewhat over the years - At one point I wanted views, and so I signed up to some blog promotion service, and sure enough if you look back to a few posts I wrote in July and August 2017 I was getting 1300 to 2900 views.  Wow!  But then I realised they were just bot visits, not real people, and that made me understand that I'd rather have a few genuine readers than thousands of auto-clicks.

I also went through a phase of thinking what I had to say was either vitally important to the survival of the World, or was so funny and insightful, I was going to be discovered by some talent-spotter as the next Eddie/Billy/Michael touring the comedy circuit.

Sadly I was a fool.  But hey, that's OK! - We can all dream. 

Now I realise I just like writing, and yes, most of it is rubbish, but that's OK.  One day I hope my daughter reads my blog, and I guess it's always been about her.  My parents died when I was 6 (I might have mentioned that before?) and that was in 1970.  I know next to nothing about them. There's nothing written down, no letters, certainly no Facebook or Twitter or blog posts.  I had a photo album but that got lost a 30 odd years ago.  I want my daughter to know me - so I write. 

It's for posterity!

So - the title of this post is Happy New Year - today is December 27th and I write this in a quiet moment whilst I'm at work.  I retired from my job as an IT Service Desk support tech in May this year and returned to the same job but for 11 hours a week.  I put my request in around this time in 2018 so it took the best part of half a year to get sorted, plus a few more months to get the finances sorted and running smoothly.  I'm happy to say that as the year end approaches, we're doing alright.

My health has been good - my regular post-cancer check ups all show me remaining disease free.  I've put on a bit of weight through poor diet and lack of exercise, but I'm sure my New Year resolutions will soon sort that out - ha ha ha!

Looking back, we've had a few holidays - all in the UK, we've had quite a few good laughs - barbecues,firepits and games nights with our family, and some with our closest friends the Kellows, and I have to say overall it's been a very good year.

I hope, if you're reading this, that you too have had a good year - filled with adventure, laughter, love, prosperity and good health.  My wish for you is that 2020 is even better!

Happy New Year!!

Is there life after life?

I was watching some you tube videos about spooky goings on yesterday, ghosts, alleged angel activity, people talking about near-death experiences - I'm fascinated by it all!

When I was a mere boy, just before I fell asleep, I could hear about half a dozen conversations going on in my head.  I can only describe it like being on a railway station or in an airport near a bank of telephones - I could hear one half of all the people speaking - but if I tried to focus on one particular conversation, it would stop, only to start up again when I stopped paying it any attention.

Someone once told me it was the voices of the dead trying to channel through me.  I didn't like that very much so I blocked the voices out after that.

I have seen a ghost.  Well, I'm certain I have - and when I told my landlady she confirmed my sighting and told me it was real. 

Now the way I see it, we have an amazing amount of energy while we're alive - not just the bio mechanics and the chemistry in our bodies and brains - but also our thoughts and feelings - chemical reactions and electrical impulses.  What happens to all that energy when we die?  It must go somewhere?

I've always believed what we consider the afterlife is a continuation of that energy.  I think that depending on whether your energy is good in this life or bad will depend on how it continues afterwards, and I like to think that angels are after lives that have volunteered to help others both in this life and afterwards. 

I know this is a very simplistic view - but I'm a very simplistic person, and I'm just trying to make sense of my limited experiences.

I'm also a strong believer in reincarnation.  I have read many articles about people that are able to accurately recount past life in great detail - often verified by the families of those they claim to be.  I see this as even more evidence of an afterlife.  I think the older we get, the more we forget (the connections with the other side) what we might have seen before we were born.

I sometimes wonder whether the butterfly remembers it's existence as a caterpillar? 

It could be that I'm clutching straws - that I'm so desperate to believe that there's more to this life than just this life that I look for anything that might indicate that there is something - but I know I'm not the only one.  Most religions have some believe in the afterlife, Buddhism believes in reincarnation, people pray.  I think the majority of people on Earth believe in some form of spirituality.

I'll end on a quote from Marcus Aurelius - made famous in the film Gladiator. 
"What we do now echoes in eternity." 

Truth, Justice and the [insert country name] Way!

I have always been a bit proud to be British.  I'm not saying Britain is better than anyone else, that other countries are in any way inferior.  I'm just saying I'm a bit proud to be British.

I think we are a very tolerant nation, on the whole, and I like that. I think we tend to accept people for who they are, and as long as you're happy to live with our quirks and foibles, we'll live with yours.

Our islands have been invaded often - sometimes from abroad - the French, the Vikings, the Romans to name a few - and we've done a bit of invading ourselves - which is how we became the UK in the first place!

The United Kingdom of Great Britain.  I do like that name!

To me, Britain (to use it's short name) is Great because it's people are made up of many cultures and creeds, many beliefs that co-operate and co-exist in relative harmony.  We accept new ideas, we offer equal opportunities to all.  We look after each other - and in times of crisis we work together for the common good.  We have friends all around the World, and I have always felt that the rest of the World see us as an honest nation - hard working and just. 

I might be wrong though.  I don't know how the rest of the World sees us now.  I went to see a comedian recently who joked that the World views Britain as a bit of a joke - and I'm afraid to say Brexit has done a lot to destroy our credibility - our desire to leave the EU has been plagued from the start, and our attempts to break free are laughable on occasion.  I don't think the EU want us to go and are making things difficult for us - I think they hope we'll change our mind.

I'd like to think it's because they value us as a member state, but I think they just want to keep the money we contribute - and to be fair, I think that's why we need to leave.  If you have a relationship with someone that only wants what you can give to them, and doesn't care about your opinions, or what you want - would you stay?

So, are we a joke?
I don't know.  But despite it all - I'm still proud to be British!

Online Security

Hey you, Browser Dude!
You've stopped by my page - that's awesome.  I'm really happy!

I would like to introduce you to Internet Awareness 101, a very short online course designed to keep you safe and secure. 

I am by no means a security expert - which kind of means I'm on your level - an average guy doing average online stuff... Browsing the internet, banking online, sending emails, Facebook, Twitter and so on.

The other day I was listening to a podcast about IT stuff - Hackable? by McAfee - the antivirus guys, and this one podcast made me stop and think.  In it, them mentioned the LinkedIn hack of May2016 in which 164 million email addresses and passwords were stolen.  Did you know about that?

It goes on to mention how you can easily check your email address to see if it's been pwned - which is hacker slang for Owned - as in "I own you!"
Simply browse to HaveIBeenPwned.com and enter your email address, and it'll quickly tell you if your email address appears in any online directories of stolen details!  Scroll down the page to see where your data was obtained.

The first think you should consider is - Have I changed my password since that breach?  If not - change it asap.
The next thing to consider is - do I use that password for anything else that I log into using that email address? 

Yes, change that too!

Now I'm not one to panic-monger,  I tend to think "Hey, these hackers have more important things to do than nick my paypal funds", but who knows?  They could.

My funds, your funds, his funds, their funds... and before you know it your day is filled with proving to paypal you didn't make that money transfer to Ibiza, and they're sipping a Manhattan in Bali with your cash!  Do me a favour... No, do yourself a favour - change that password!

And speaking of passwords... try and think of something new.  I know it's hard to remember complex passwords.  Hell, it's hard to remember simple ones when you have so many to remember - so tip one is:
1. Don't use the same password for everything!

Tip 2...
2. Make it random.

I don't use my wife or daughter's name, my date of birth, their dates of birth, the street I live in, my dog's name.  Anyone that Google's your Twitter or Facebook can find that out.  Think random...
word, symbol, word, symbol, number. (just a suggestion by the way - you can make your own convention up)

BlackMicrobe?23%?

Whatever you choose - mix it up.

And while on the subject of security - let me just mention emails - phishing emails to be more specific - the ones that look legit, but invite you to click on a link to open an invoice or document.
Sometimes the sender looks OK - an organisation your might trust - the bank, a university, or the local scout group, even a friend or relative.  The subject might look reasonable "invoice for scout funds", and in the email will be an attachment or a link...
Click to Open Invoice

Don't click it!
No.
Don't.

If it looks odd, trust your gut and don't trust it!

Do you know the sender?  If you don't, then delete it.  If you do, call them and ask "did you send me this invoice?"  Suggest they change their email password!  These things are spread by our laxity and our trust. And they wreak havoc!  They can pick up your contacts and email out to all of them, leaving no trace that they've done so.  Your friends receive emails from you with invoices or attachments you never sent, and they click, and they're compromised... and so it goes on.

Be savvy, be suspicious, be careful.

And, if you just happen to fall for this scam, this phishing trip, don't fret.  Change that password - and think if you use that email address and/or password elsewhere -  and change that too!

I have over a dozen email addresses, depending on what I'm logging into - one for paypal, something different for eBay, something else for Facebook, and so on.  Each one has a different password.
I'm not paranoid, but I do know if all your apps run off the same username and password, and you fall foul of a hack - you have a lot of work on your hands resetting everything. 

I understand that you probably can't be bothered to have loads of different email addresses - but just consider this.  If you use your firstname.lastname@email.com for your Facebook with password Albert1954, and the same for your online banking, and the same for your Amazon account, and the same for your PayPal... just think what I can buy with your account, your money.  Just think what I can see on your Facebook or Instagram, or Tumblr - your photos, your history, your cherished moments.

Please, take this seriously - and make sure those close to you do too.  Online Security is big business these days - and it can only spread when we click that link.  When In Doubt - Check It Out.

Check Before You Click.

Thank you for reading, and please, stay safe!