Tuesday 15 March 2016

Respect - The keystone to life?

I was walking my dog the other day, and stood aside to let a college girl past us.  She said a very polite thank you.

Just then a group of three student lads passed by, rowdy, full of it - cocky in their youth.

I then dipped into an entirely imaginary scenario where the lads started teasing the girl, calling her names, wolf-whistles etc.  I had experienced this sort of behavior loads of times in London, which is probably why I was expecting it.

In my imagined scenario, I challenge the behavior, stand up for the girl.  I am noble and courageous - their youth and numbers do not intimidate me.

As I continue to walk home I develop my speech, refine it, hone it, until to me it becomes worthy of a Shakespearean soliloquy!  Now, I know all this might seem a bit pointless, recording this here now - but in fact the message is possibly worth sharing.  It's all about respect.

In my imagined confrontation, I suggest the lads leave the girl alone.  I tell them that whatever they may think of the girl, or know about her, their behavior is unacceptable.  I suffer the usual taunts of "who are you? Her granddad?" and so on - which I bear with unflinching stoicism.  My retort is not meant to me antagonistic nor unkind.

I reply that despite what they may think of her, they should still treat her with a little respect.  If they did that, then I would have more respect for them, and if that were so, I would hope they would have a little respect for me.

I go on to explain that education, intelligence and being clever isn't always all it is cracked up to be.  That having a degree does not guarantee a future, that attaining a diploma, without a hint of humility or respect does not mean you'll get a job.

I give an example of where, at a recent job interview I had to decide between two candidates - one that had qualifications coming out of his ears but was arrogant about it, and one that had less education, but showed respect and humility.  I'd be far more inclined to employ the latter - i said.

Respect encourages forgiveness, it fosters good relations, and increases the chances of greater opportunities.  No one likes a smart-arse.  No matter how qualified you are, how talented - interpersonal skills are equally as important.

By the time I got home and the dog was curled up in his bed, satisfied by his wanderings, I had put the whole world to rights!

I believe this to be true.  You can be the best qualified person for a role, highly skilled, completely competent, and possibly the person who should be chosen - but if your attitude stinks, if you fail to show some respect, you may find that door closing in your face.