The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away. George Carlin

Mornings

I like mornings.
The early start to the day before most other people are up.
The list of jobs to do, a loose schedule, time management at it's best. 
The first cup of coffee. 
Quick look at the news. Check into the World. 
School run. 
Commute to work. 
Never sure what the day will bring. 
Mornings are the start to the Unknown Quantity.

Trouble

When I woke up today the World seemed an OK place.
The sun was shining, my heart was still beating, I could hear my wife and daughter chattering away happily.
Not long later, a small touch of rot set in.  A comment taken the wrong way, a dig, a look - and suddenly wife and I were discussing splitting up. Who would move out? Who do we tell? Do we care??

It seemed so very real.  We have been irritating each other so much lately.  Every little thing grating on our nerves. So many things said taken the wrong way. Wondering daily why we were sticking at this.  Obviously unhappy.  Today seemed to be the last straw - and yet it wasn't anything major.  Neither of us have been unfaithful. We are not violent or abusive, controlling or anything like that.

We are under some strain.  Some ill health. Some work pressures. Financial pressure. This and that.  But we work well as a team. We share responsibility, take it in turns with the chores, support each other, do stuff together.  We work well together and usually communicate well.  Only a week or so before we'd been off all week together - decorating and doing jobs about the house. 9 whole days without a break from the myriad of jobs - some quite labour-intensive, yet we got on perfectly well.  Not a bad word.  So what changed?

My wife hit the nail on the head today as we discussed our issues.

We lack focus.

We have no particular goals.  When decorating we had a common aim.  A reason to work together, a plan, strategy, a direction to share.  But when you take that away from us you have two people just drifting along aimlessly.  We watch the same TV, eat the same food, but really we are just a teensy bit bored with it all.

And so, we have more time and energy to spare for petty bickering.

My wife and I have a pretty good relationship.  We are best friends, and we can communicate.  We are not afraid to speak up when something needs to be said.  We could have walked away from it - taken the easy way out, given up on almost 12 years of marriage, but in the end we did what we do best - we stuck at it and we talked it through.  It wasn't pleasant - admitting we were wrong, admitting we had taken each other for granted, admitting we'd let ourselves down, slipped into bad habits.

So - we are still together.  We have more talking to do.  We have to learn some new habits - get rid of a few old ones. We have to learn to be happy with each other again - but because we want to save it, we will save it.

Today we found out some people we know did the exact opposite today.

It put our predicament into perspective!

Twitter

I had a Twitter account, used it (badly)
(Sporadically)

In truth I had no idea what I was doing.  I had Followers.
I was Following.

I think I RT'd once.
HashTag

Come on, let's face it - I had NO idea.

So I deleted/deactivated my account.
But then I thought - I'm missing out on a chunk of InfoBites here.  I'm not getting as much inane drivel as I was used to.

So, I'm resurrected
@colinpearson14

Next on my list - Twitter for Dummies

Friendship? The Ship that Sailed.

I was thinking about my friend Helen today.  Well, no. I was thinking about Helen, who I thought was my friend.  Who once upon a time may have been a friend.  She's not my friend now.
You may think we had some major argument, that she or I did something terrible to the other.  You'd be wrong - she just changed jobs.

When we worked together she would chat to me about how crap her life was, and I would offer her sympathy, a non-judging ear.  I'd tell her how great she was, I would bolster her confidence in herself and make her feel positive about her world.  I was a shoulder to cry on, and a solid dependable rock to lean on.  I really thought I made a difference in her life.  That the years we knew each other were good times.

Then she left her job to pursue another career.

She dropped me from her Facebook friends.  She ignored my emails and texts.
Fearing I'd done something terribly wrong to her without knowing I emailed and asked what it was?  What had I done that cut her off from me?

She replied.  Nothing.  She was just really busy.  Of course she'd add me back on Facebook. Of course we were still friends.

And that, I'm afraid to say, was the last I ever heard from Helen.

Friends come and friends go.  Each friendship brings something with it and takes something away.  They alter our lives, guide us on our way through life.  They hold our hand when we're scared, teach us when we need to learn, salve us when we're hurt.  Usually they're mutual, a symbiotic relationship.  Usually.

I have only learned one thing from knowing Helen.  She was no friend.

Keeping in Touch

As I was on my laptop the other day playing Candy Crush, the TV on in the background, daughter upstairs in bed asleep, wife doing the same thing on her mobile phone, it occurred to me what a tiny insular life I was making myself live.

In this day and age of enhanced communication technology, I find myself actually communicating less than before computers and telephones were commonplace!  I used to spend hours writing a letter - 5 or 6 pages of A4 paper, both sides filled with chatter and trivia, sent via snail-mail, then await the reply - if you ever got one - weeks later.

Now, with e-mail, texts, blogs, Facebook, Twitter and websites at my disposal, I find myself playing Candy Crush!  I should be keeping in touch with my friends - a quick text, a poke, a tweet, and email.  I should be writing my daughter's journal, I should be adding a  page on here, I should be writing my own journal, I should be adding a page or two to my notebook.

So, the other day I went through my email account contacts, found someone I'd not spoken to since, well, since the last family funeral, and I sent them an email.  A few days later I got a fantastic reply - and the miles between us, the months between us, shrank to nothing.

I emailed my best mate - whose life is as busy and as full and as complicated as my own and who I never see these days.  Not got a reply from him yet, but hey - small steps huh?

I have written another few pages in my daughter's journal.  I've emailed her too.

And now I'm writing this.

In this day and age of almost effortless communication, it's easy to become complacent though.  It's easy to get sidetracked away from staying in touch with our friends and family, to become distracted by Candy Crush - when one of the greatest pleasures is to get a message from someone close to you.  So, make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, fire up that email provider and scan through your contacts - find someone you've not been in touch with for a while and drop them a line.  Who knows where it might lead??

I Can't Believe it's February!!

There I was, basking in the afterglow of the Christmas/New Year fallout, and suddenly it's February!
Almost Midwinter.  Then it'll be Spring in a few weeks, closely followed by Easter, and the clocks going forward.  Whilst I'm looking forward to the new buds, spring flowers, new life and the promise of summer, I also don't want my life to rush away too fast.
I'd quite like to languish in the cold and dismal-ness of Winter, thank you.  Like a thirsty person waiting for a drink of water, I would like my time to drift by slowly, as time was intended to pass, building an expectation of what is to come. What I don't want is my time to flash by unnoticed - hurrying along so fast that before I know it, my life is over and I've missed the cool bits.