One man's disaster is another man's adventure.

In June of last year we woke one morning to a patch of water on the kitchen floor.  Not very big, it just looked like a small spill so I mopped it up.  But later there was a lot more, and after some investigation, we discovered a slow dripping leak from the on/off valve, which our friend (who is a plumber) fixed for us.

So the laminate flooring in the kitchen started to buckle up - water had got underneath, so with the house insurance's blessing we lifted the floor to assess and let it dry.

Which led to us discovering it had also tracked under the dining room laminate.  Which flows seamlessly into the lounge - meaning it all needed to be replaced - annoyingly as it was only a couple of years old.

So when we lifted the laminate in the dining room to let the floor dry, we discovered bitumen that had once held down asbestos tiles (long since removed) but the insurance company were not happy.  They said it could still contain asbestos and so we had to move out until it could be remediated.

So we stayed in a nearby holiday let we were able to book last minute for a week or so.  Then another.  Then a trip up country to visit our daughter at Uni.  And then another.

Whilst the places we stayed in were lovely, the owners friendly and engaging, the scenery beautiful - the experiences were marred by the worry of getting our home fixed and habitable again.  You can only live out of a suitcase for so long before it does things to your state of mind - and we longed to get back home again - also because my wife and I both work from home.  So when the asbestos remediation team turned up and cleared it out, we were able to inhabit one half of our home.

Our flooring guy then came and screeded the entire surface from lounge to kitchen ready to lay new flooring - but another team - sent by the insurance company to assess the wetness of the environment told us we shouldn't have had the screeding done before they had a chance to see if there was any moisture still in the slad - and so they set up huge dehumidifiers and industrial fans for what felt like forever.  They are very noisy.  Very.  And they're on 24/7.

We were living out of two bedrooms, eating off our laps, watching TV on a laptop.  It felt like being in prison, and June had turned to July, into August.  

Eventually the place was deemed dry, and the noisy apparatus removed.  And then the lounge and dining room floor was re-laid, and our furniture was back from storage, and life got a little bit better - but the kitchen flooring was still on order so that wasn't done yet.

Also, we had to get some decorators in to repair the water damage to the plaster and the skirtings and so while they were in we had some other work done too - at our own expense - to make it all look a bit nicer.  And September became October, and then November.  And then the floor was done.

6 months.  A mixture of fear and anxiety, frustration and annoyance, pleasure and peace, noise and mess, upheaval and upset, tears and laughter.  At the time it was a major disaster.  Now, looking back - I can barely remember what all the fuss was about.  Incredible how we can adapt to our circumstances.  How we can forget suffering once it's behind us.  I consider us very fortunate, despite all that happened.  I feel blessed.  Damaged and contaminated items have been replaced and our home is better for it.

We had work done in other areas of our home (again at our own expense) that made sense whilst rooms were empty, and everything now feels fresh and revitalised, and we are very happy with it all.  And none of it would have happened without that initial drip, drip, drip.

Empty Nest

 A little while ago my wife and I dropped our daughter off at University for the start of her 3 year course.  Her Uni is some 300 miles away - 6 hours in the car (with rest breaks).

We unloaded her possessions from our cars and hoped to help her unpack and get settled - but she didn't want our help, or much of our company - as she had already made friends with some of the other students on her course and wanted to spend time with them.

So my wife and I felt unwanted, surplus to requirements, and a bit rejected.  We tried to hang on, see our daughter a bit more before we had to leave her there and travel home - but that just didn't seem to work.  And so we drove home after a tearful farewell - with promises to call every day.

The first thing to hit was the absence of her car on the drive.  Then seeing the few things she left behind in her now vacant room.  And every where we looked there was a reminder that she's not here anymore, and most likely will never live with us again.

Oh I'm sure she'll visit - Christmas maybe - but her life is up there now, and her degree is based around work placement at her favourite theme park and so she'll probably be working there in the holidays too.

The pain we feel is akin to grief.  A subtle form of mourning is going on, with us afraid sometimes to speak about her for fear of the tears welling up again, and the chest feeling tight with emotion.

Everyone says that it's good that she's so settled already, that she's independent and confident enough to be there on her own, that we should be proud of the daughter we raised that's capable of looking after herself.  And we know all that - but it still hurts!

It's only been a few days, and her course hasn't started yet so she's not busy with her studies - but even though she has time on her hands, we barely get any communication from her.  God knows how sparse it'll be once she gets coursework and placements to do!

I miss her like mad.  I never knew it would hurt this much.  And it feels like I'll never see her again.  But when I do - is it going to hurt like this all over again?  

UPDATE:
It's now a week on from writing the post and I have to say things are much better now.  We still miss her like crazy - but it's no longer heartbreakingly painful.  That feeling of never seeing her again has subsided too.  We know she's ok, and we know she's happy.  My wife and I have started making plans what we might fill our time with, getting out more - and we're eating the evening meals we stopped preparing because our daughter didn't like them.

Peace and Tranquility

 Since my last post I have been mostly hibernating!
This last Winter was wild, wet and windy down here in Cornwall, and I've found myself hiding indoors a lot.  I love to listen to the wind howling around the house, and the rain lashing against the windows while I'm all snuggled up warm and safe inside.

I love Winter, but this last one has had an unusual effect on my psyche - I've succumbed to the constant rain and storms, and I've looked forward to the Spring - which I have to say felt like a long time getting here.  

I spent a lot of my time indoors writing my journal and reading about a simpler life of less consumerism and more grow-your-own.  And also reflecting on how little socialising we did last year - too few barbecues with friends and family, hardly any firepit gatherings.  And so we resolved to change that this year.

It's now almost the end of May, and just over half way through Spring - and already we have had a few social gatherings, barbecues and at least two firepits to sit around.  The sun shines longer into the afternoon and evening which seems to fill the soul with warmth, love and hope for better times.

We've planted tomatoes and peas, kale and courgettes (not loads, but enough for us) and for once our pear tree looks like it might bear fruit.  (Our apple tree did OK last year, but we didn't eat a single one!)

This year I'm hoping to brew some mead, and see if the homebrew red wine kit I was given a couple of years ago will still produce something drinkable.

Our solar panels and battery banks are already saving us money, we are actively reducing the amount of water we use, and are well on top of the home maintenance jobs that keep our home clean, tidy and in good repair.

All in all we are healthy and happy, and with that comes a sense of peace, tranquility and wellbeing.

It hasn't taken much to achieve this - a shift in perspective, a realisation of what's important and what's just mental clutter.  Prioritising our needs to encompass the outdoors into the equation so we have fresh air, sunlight, and birdsong to lift our spirits.

I think this year is going to feel far more alive than last year, and for that I am extremely grateful!

Designed to Fail - Why I hate built in redundancy

 I can't say for sure when this all started.  I have periodically upgraded my PC, bought more RAM, moved to a laptop, traded it for one with a bigger screen, a better CPU.  My old mobile phone (Nokia) broke so I bought a new one with a better camera - and so on.  All natural progressions.

I now own a HP laptop. Intel Core i3.  I own a Samsung J5 mobile.  They both do what I need - I'm quite happy with my old tech.

But the other day I was going through my box of stuff and I found my old FitBit - I charged it and Lo!  It works!  I go to install the FitBit app on my 'phone - nope, not available any more.  I try to install it on my laptop - nope, sorry, not supported.  So the FitBit is pretty useless then.

Oh, and the laptop is not Windows 11 compatible either! 

So, I went to log into my Costa coffee app on my 'phone this morning and I'm told I need a newer version but my 'phone software might need an upgrade, and sure enough, the app isn't available any more in PlayStore!

So slowly but surely I am being forced to discard these expensive (at the time) items to buy new stuff.  My new laptop will not have an optical drive.  My new mobile 'phone will be bulkier, so I'll need a new case for it, and larger screen protectors.

Now if as implied, the old stuff is obsolete, there's not going to be much to reuse or recycle, so it'll probably end up in some landfill.  

And the worst thing is - give it a couple of years and I suspect I'll have to do it all over again.

Once upon a time we had things that were built to last - and when they broke, a skilled artisan or an engineer repaired them.  These days, your toaster breaks, you buy a new one online and it's delivered the next day in a massive cardboard box filled with crumpled up brown paper. But to dispose of the old one you have to take it to the recycling centre (once called "the dump"), and that's likely to cost you in fuel or bus fare, and that just adds more pollution.

It's all a ridiculous waste of resources and it saddens and angers me.

Addicted to media

I'm not!
Tweets... im not addicted to media!
Puts phone down
Hmmm was that a notificatoon?
Checks phone. Sad face emoji... nope.
Checks Facebook
Checks Insta...
Hmmm, WhatsApp?

Puts phone down. Un pause TV.
Ping.

Ooh...
Picks up phone.
Ugh, spam mail!
I'll just check Twitter while I'm here...
FB
Insta
What?

Unpause TV...
Eh?
Sorry hon, did you say something?
No I was listening, I just... the TV was too loud.
Honestly, what did you just say?

Ping.
Ooh...

No! I just got an email from work hon. Might be important!
Yes, I know it's  ten to ten at night. That's why I've got to check it!
(Grrr... not a retweet or a like.)

Puts phone down.
Unpause TV
Feels chill in the air...
Looks at wife who looks like Medusa right now.
What?
What???

Apparently the coroner ruled it accidentally death due to self neglect.

Tell Us The Truth!

 About 2 years ago we were just getting the first reports that something was amiss in Wuhan.  Later intelligence "revealed" covid could already have been in Italy Dec 2019! (Tests on sewer matter),

 We are still dealing with it now. Thousands of daily cases in the UK alone, hundreds or thousands of deaths daily Worldwide.  More lockdowns (in Europe - Austria, Netherlands) as a Fourth Spike is announced.  We are still vaccinating, and boosters for those 6 months after their 2nd jabs.

Legislation in the UK to "force" front line NHS and Care Workers to vaccinate or face being fired.

Most supermarkets are still recommending wearing masks indoors.  I know I wear my mask if I shop, and I hand sanitise everywhere I go.  It makes sense to me.  Prevention is better than cure, right?

I wonder where we'll be next year?

Then there's climate change.  We've just concluded the COP26 talks in Glasgow.  From what I read in the news it's a positive step forward... but I watched The Day After Tomorrow on TV yesterday - filmed in 2004, and 17 years on we've not heeded that warning one little bit!

I'm a bit rusty on my Nostradamus, but I'm fairly sure he "predicted" the end of the world would come from the Middle East (or at least that's what his "interpreters" chose to suggest).  What if our demise wasn't from war (or terrorism) which is what we immediately assume, but from our dependence on oil? 

A friend of mine is very religious and recently posted some threads about this being Biblical, Revelations type scenarios.  One of his posts on FB had an "independent fact-check" reply/overlay on it refuting his info, and that lead me to wonder about who we can really trust - because his original post about covid data integrity seemed to come from a valid source - the URL looked legit, but the refute seemed to come from the same source!

We really don't know who to trust - our politicians spin one way, our religious leaders another.  Covid, Brexit, Climate Change - how do we know what we're being told is the truth?  We don't!

If we "fact check", how do we know what we're reading is the truth or a counter-lie?

We live in uncertain times - as a Nation, the UK is going through a lot - and what we really need right now is someone to trust - someone that will tell us the honest truth - no matter how harsh, so that we can face it head on and deal with it.

Breaking the Cycle

I was thinking about why I rarely write anymore.  Why I don't make scale models the way I used to - with care and attention.  Why, when I cook a meal, I do it half-hearted these days.  What's changed?

I was astounded to look at this blog a while ago and realise I'd not written a single word in over a year! My first thought was to blame the pandemic.  Being cooped up indoors mostly, the days all blurring into one.  Constantly looking ahead to when things will be better.  But that wasn't to blame.  If anything, lockdown afforded me more time to write, more time to make models, more time to reflect on the changes happening around me.

No, what I had was complacency.  My mind had become lazy.  Watching TV every evening, drinking alcohol most evenings, rarely going out for exercise/no exercise.  Slowly descending into a slump I didn't even see happening.  I was waiting for things to improve, for the sun to come out, for lockdown restrictions to ease, for the shops to open.  Always waiting.

This morning, having written my previous post on COVID in a bit of a drunken blur the other night, I realised I needed to stop waiting for something to happen that would change things for me.

I had to act.  Now.

Left to it's own devices, things would continue as they are indefinitely.  The sun would come out (has done countless times already) but that won't get me out of the house walking the dog, because when the sun did come out, I'd find some other excuse not to go out.  Restrictions have eased, but I've still not contacted my friends about popping around for coffee.  I feel comfortable in my slump.  It's become familiar, like hiding under the duvet.  The New Normal.  (I really hate that phrase!)

Today, I decided I'm going to be the change I'm waiting for. (ooh, almost a cliché)
I'm going to break the cycle of Get Up, Eat, Work, Eat, TV, Drink, Sleep, Repeat.  I'm not going to let the blurring continue.  

I'm going to make a conscious effort to be aware of my passing moments, To think about what is happening in this day and be grateful for it; and I think the emphasis needs to be on the word conscious.  To be aware that I'm mentally lazy and complacent and do something about it - because every day I allow to blur into another, is a day I've wasted.  

Well, that's my plan, so let's see how I get on.  If my next post on this blog is in a year's time you'll know I've not kept to it!

COVID - May 2021

 May 2021
Great Britain - Cornwall

We have entered the third phase of our lockdown easing of restrictions just a few days ago.  We can now meet up to 6 people from two households indoors, eat in, go to the cinema.  The end is in sight.

Instead of hundreds, thousands dying daily, we have less than 20.  We might be at the end of that tunnel at long last.

For 14 months we have been a World gripped by a virus - one that not only kills, but disables and destroys - via long-term after effects. via fear, by dividing nations. Rich vs Poor, Black vs White.  But the virus doesn't care who it infects.  I'm not here to discuss social injustice - this isn't a soapbox - it's just a page to write upon.

Over a year of not eating out and feeling safe.  Not going to the cinema.  No holidays abroad.
Wearing masks in shops.  Hand sanitiser.  Washing hands more than usual.
Walking into the road to pass someone on the pavement.  Not shaking hands or hugging.
Working from home.

I am a non-sociable person.  I don't get out much - so for me a year of lockdown is a year of not having to make excuses why I can't go to the work's night out.  But even I have found that it has affected me in ways I find disturbing.  If friends come by to say Hi now, I still keep my distance.  The thought of having someone in my home is scary.  I want to wipe everything that might be contaminated with anti-bacterial wipes.

This isn't going away any time soon!

When we talk about holidays - the thought of going abroad, getting on a crowded plane with self-contained air is like asking me to lick a petri dish pulled out of a CDC incubator.  Why?  Not only do I not want to catch this virus, but I wouldn't want to spread it either.  

Watching TV series now, like NCIS and Station 19 and Grays Anatomy - all filmed during COVID, with them all wearing masks and social distancing - we'll re-watch these in years to come and say "Oh yeah, that was the pandemic" - and we'll forget that we had a year of isolation and fear, buying everything online and not going out unless we had to. Of people all over the world dying in the thousands every day.

I am humbled by how well we've coped with this.  How well we have adapted and how hard we have worked to keep it under control, and how hard we have worked to keep things going in the face of this world-wide life-threatening virus.  I am proud of the people that have striven to protect us, treat us when we're ill, develop a vaccine, secure jobs, keep industry going, keep the economy afloat, maintain our way of life as best they can.

I want to say Thank You - to every single person out there that did something - no matter how small, to keep us going, that kept us safe, throughout this bleakest of bleak, harsh, devastating years.

Thank You!

2020

2020 has been an unusual year.

I spent a week with a bad back, unable to get up off the floor.  I could barely even turn from one side to the other - and if I didn't have my wife nearby to look after me I would have been in dire straits indeed.

The weather was very kind to us here in Cornwall - we've had some wild, wet and windy weather but no where near as bad as the rest of the country has.

Luckily all our major celebrations fell whilst not in lockdown - birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc - we managed to spend them all with our close family and friends.

My daughter coped well with home schooling, and I'm OK working from home.  My wife's business is doing well, unaffected by COVID and Brexit (so far - fingers crossed!)

We even managed to get some home improvements done, and a trip to Alton Towers for Scarefest!
I suppose me being a bit socially awkward has meant lockdown hasn't affected me as much as it could have, and my daughter, being a teenager, spends her life in her bedroom online anyway!

I'm wondering what next year will bring?  We have a couple of covid vaccines available in the UK now, and a trade deal with the EU, so it's not all doom and gloom.  Will we be free to travel again or be stuck in our tiers for the whole year?  Will our Year 11 kids get to do their exams or have their years work assessed instead?

I think it's the unknown that gets to me the most.  Not knowing if we'll be able to have our friends over for a barbeque in the summer.

So, I shall sign off this very late, long overdue entry with another New Year wish - that 2021 is a massive improvement for everyone!

Happy New Year! 

Happy New Year!

Hi!

It has been a long time since I last wrote a post on this blog.  Mostly because I have lacked inspiration concerning what to write about.

Most of my blog posts only get a few views - and I wonder whether there's any real point to my writing. But then I have to ask myself this question.  "Am I writing because I want lots of views, or am I writing because I want to write?"

The answer to that has varied somewhat over the years - At one point I wanted views, and so I signed up to some blog promotion service, and sure enough if you look back to a few posts I wrote in July and August 2017 I was getting 1300 to 2900 views.  Wow!  But then I realised they were just bot visits, not real people, and that made me understand that I'd rather have a few genuine readers than thousands of auto-clicks.

I also went through a phase of thinking what I had to say was either vitally important to the survival of the World, or was so funny and insightful, I was going to be discovered by some talent-spotter as the next Eddie/Billy/Michael touring the comedy circuit.

Sadly I was a fool.  But hey, that's OK! - We can all dream. 

Now I realise I just like writing, and yes, most of it is rubbish, but that's OK.  One day I hope my daughter reads my blog, and I guess it's always been about her.  My parents died when I was 6 (I might have mentioned that before?) and that was in 1970.  I know next to nothing about them. There's nothing written down, no letters, certainly no Facebook or Twitter or blog posts.  I had a photo album but that got lost a 30 odd years ago.  I want my daughter to know me - so I write. 

It's for posterity!

So - the title of this post is Happy New Year - today is December 27th and I write this in a quiet moment whilst I'm at work.  I retired from my job as an IT Service Desk support tech in May this year and returned to the same job but for 11 hours a week.  I put my request in around this time in 2018 so it took the best part of half a year to get sorted, plus a few more months to get the finances sorted and running smoothly.  I'm happy to say that as the year end approaches, we're doing alright.

My health has been good - my regular post-cancer check ups all show me remaining disease free.  I've put on a bit of weight through poor diet and lack of exercise, but I'm sure my New Year resolutions will soon sort that out - ha ha ha!

Looking back, we've had a few holidays - all in the UK, we've had quite a few good laughs - barbecues,firepits and games nights with our family, and some with our closest friends the Kellows, and I have to say overall it's been a very good year.

I hope, if you're reading this, that you too have had a good year - filled with adventure, laughter, love, prosperity and good health.  My wish for you is that 2020 is even better!

Happy New Year!!

Is there life after life?

I was watching some you tube videos about spooky goings on yesterday, ghosts, alleged angel activity, people talking about near-death experiences - I'm fascinated by it all!

When I was a mere boy, just before I fell asleep, I could hear about half a dozen conversations going on in my head.  I can only describe it like being on a railway station or in an airport near a bank of telephones - I could hear one half of all the people speaking - but if I tried to focus on one particular conversation, it would stop, only to start up again when I stopped paying it any attention.

Someone once told me it was the voices of the dead trying to channel through me.  I didn't like that very much so I blocked the voices out after that.

I have seen a ghost.  Well, I'm certain I have - and when I told my landlady she confirmed my sighting and told me it was real. 

Now the way I see it, we have an amazing amount of energy while we're alive - not just the bio mechanics and the chemistry in our bodies and brains - but also our thoughts and feelings - chemical reactions and electrical impulses.  What happens to all that energy when we die?  It must go somewhere?

I've always believed what we consider the afterlife is a continuation of that energy.  I think that depending on whether your energy is good in this life or bad will depend on how it continues afterwards, and I like to think that angels are after lives that have volunteered to help others both in this life and afterwards. 

I know this is a very simplistic view - but I'm a very simplistic person, and I'm just trying to make sense of my limited experiences.

I'm also a strong believer in reincarnation.  I have read many articles about people that are able to accurately recount past life in great detail - often verified by the families of those they claim to be.  I see this as even more evidence of an afterlife.  I think the older we get, the more we forget (the connections with the other side) what we might have seen before we were born.

I sometimes wonder whether the butterfly remembers it's existence as a caterpillar? 

It could be that I'm clutching straws - that I'm so desperate to believe that there's more to this life than just this life that I look for anything that might indicate that there is something - but I know I'm not the only one.  Most religions have some believe in the afterlife, Buddhism believes in reincarnation, people pray.  I think the majority of people on Earth believe in some form of spirituality.

I'll end on a quote from Marcus Aurelius - made famous in the film Gladiator. 
"What we do now echoes in eternity." 

Truth, Justice and the [insert country name] Way!

I have always been a bit proud to be British.  I'm not saying Britain is better than anyone else, that other countries are in any way inferior.  I'm just saying I'm a bit proud to be British.

I think we are a very tolerant nation, on the whole, and I like that. I think we tend to accept people for who they are, and as long as you're happy to live with our quirks and foibles, we'll live with yours.

Our islands have been invaded often - sometimes from abroad - the French, the Vikings, the Romans to name a few - and we've done a bit of invading ourselves - which is how we became the UK in the first place!

The United Kingdom of Great Britain.  I do like that name!

To me, Britain (to use it's short name) is Great because it's people are made up of many cultures and creeds, many beliefs that co-operate and co-exist in relative harmony.  We accept new ideas, we offer equal opportunities to all.  We look after each other - and in times of crisis we work together for the common good.  We have friends all around the World, and I have always felt that the rest of the World see us as an honest nation - hard working and just. 

I might be wrong though.  I don't know how the rest of the World sees us now.  I went to see a comedian recently who joked that the World views Britain as a bit of a joke - and I'm afraid to say Brexit has done a lot to destroy our credibility - our desire to leave the EU has been plagued from the start, and our attempts to break free are laughable on occasion.  I don't think the EU want us to go and are making things difficult for us - I think they hope we'll change our mind.

I'd like to think it's because they value us as a member state, but I think they just want to keep the money we contribute - and to be fair, I think that's why we need to leave.  If you have a relationship with someone that only wants what you can give to them, and doesn't care about your opinions, or what you want - would you stay?

So, are we a joke?
I don't know.  But despite it all - I'm still proud to be British!

Online Security

Hey you, Browser Dude!
You've stopped by my page - that's awesome.  I'm really happy!

I would like to introduce you to Internet Awareness 101, a very short online course designed to keep you safe and secure. 

I am by no means a security expert - which kind of means I'm on your level - an average guy doing average online stuff... Browsing the internet, banking online, sending emails, Facebook, Twitter and so on.

The other day I was listening to a podcast about IT stuff - Hackable? by McAfee - the antivirus guys, and this one podcast made me stop and think.  In it, them mentioned the LinkedIn hack of May2016 in which 164 million email addresses and passwords were stolen.  Did you know about that?

It goes on to mention how you can easily check your email address to see if it's been pwned - which is hacker slang for Owned - as in "I own you!"
Simply browse to HaveIBeenPwned.com and enter your email address, and it'll quickly tell you if your email address appears in any online directories of stolen details!  Scroll down the page to see where your data was obtained.

The first think you should consider is - Have I changed my password since that breach?  If not - change it asap.
The next thing to consider is - do I use that password for anything else that I log into using that email address? 

Yes, change that too!

Now I'm not one to panic-monger,  I tend to think "Hey, these hackers have more important things to do than nick my paypal funds", but who knows?  They could.

My funds, your funds, his funds, their funds... and before you know it your day is filled with proving to paypal you didn't make that money transfer to Ibiza, and they're sipping a Manhattan in Bali with your cash!  Do me a favour... No, do yourself a favour - change that password!

And speaking of passwords... try and think of something new.  I know it's hard to remember complex passwords.  Hell, it's hard to remember simple ones when you have so many to remember - so tip one is:
1. Don't use the same password for everything!

Tip 2...
2. Make it random.

I don't use my wife or daughter's name, my date of birth, their dates of birth, the street I live in, my dog's name.  Anyone that Google's your Twitter or Facebook can find that out.  Think random...
word, symbol, word, symbol, number. (just a suggestion by the way - you can make your own convention up)

BlackMicrobe?23%?

Whatever you choose - mix it up.

And while on the subject of security - let me just mention emails - phishing emails to be more specific - the ones that look legit, but invite you to click on a link to open an invoice or document.
Sometimes the sender looks OK - an organisation your might trust - the bank, a university, or the local scout group, even a friend or relative.  The subject might look reasonable "invoice for scout funds", and in the email will be an attachment or a link...
Click to Open Invoice

Don't click it!
No.
Don't.

If it looks odd, trust your gut and don't trust it!

Do you know the sender?  If you don't, then delete it.  If you do, call them and ask "did you send me this invoice?"  Suggest they change their email password!  These things are spread by our laxity and our trust. And they wreak havoc!  They can pick up your contacts and email out to all of them, leaving no trace that they've done so.  Your friends receive emails from you with invoices or attachments you never sent, and they click, and they're compromised... and so it goes on.

Be savvy, be suspicious, be careful.

And, if you just happen to fall for this scam, this phishing trip, don't fret.  Change that password - and think if you use that email address and/or password elsewhere -  and change that too!

I have over a dozen email addresses, depending on what I'm logging into - one for paypal, something different for eBay, something else for Facebook, and so on.  Each one has a different password.
I'm not paranoid, but I do know if all your apps run off the same username and password, and you fall foul of a hack - you have a lot of work on your hands resetting everything. 

I understand that you probably can't be bothered to have loads of different email addresses - but just consider this.  If you use your firstname.lastname@email.com for your Facebook with password Albert1954, and the same for your online banking, and the same for your Amazon account, and the same for your PayPal... just think what I can buy with your account, your money.  Just think what I can see on your Facebook or Instagram, or Tumblr - your photos, your history, your cherished moments.

Please, take this seriously - and make sure those close to you do too.  Online Security is big business these days - and it can only spread when we click that link.  When In Doubt - Check It Out.

Check Before You Click.

Thank you for reading, and please, stay safe!

Writer's Block

Hi!

I've always been a bit dismissive of those people that complain of writer's block.  I mean, how hard can it be to pick up your pen and jot some ideas down?  Even if you don't crank out a few hundred pages of a new novella, or a paragraph or two of your dissertation - at least you can write something, surely?

So why has it been so long since I last wrote this blog?

My journal (which I write almost daily btw) is full of to-do lists, and always somewhere on that list is "write new blog post".  I know I want to - it's not like I don't enjoy writing!  I LOVE writing!

So I go to my blog page, and have a look at my last few posts.  I weep silently for a few moments at how few page views my stats report, but console myself with knowing they're genuine views and not just bot-produced junk,

And then I think... "What shall I write about today?"
And then...

Hmm...
What shall I write about today?   (Taps pen against pad reflectively)
What.  Shall.  I.  Write?  (Looks out of window.  I spy with my little eye something beginning with...)

OK, Maybe I'll get some inspiration from my trusty Pinterest?
(Lots of pretty pictures, a few TED talks I've earmarked for later, random adverts for food...)

OK, I admit, there is a genuine case for writer's block!
The thing that always seems to trip me up is wondering "What will my readers want to read?"
I worry that my subject will be boring, uninformative, not very funny.  I spend so long trying to think of a riveting subject, I forget that the joy of writing is to just write.

I always sit down and write my posts straight to the site.  I don't make notes, I don't sit on a draft post and go back to it later - I just write a post in one go - and maybe that's where i go wrong?
A friend who also writes tends to have several draft posts on the go, and also makes notes about things she sees or experiences during the day, going back to her drafts and edits them regularly before she publishes. 

I think I'll try and follow her advice for a bit, and see if I can't improve my own blog writing, and banish the dreaded writer's block for good!

Wish me luck!

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

Hi!

Last week some friends came over for a few drinks, and Scott told me this joke, which I loved.

Now, before I go on, I'm a dog person.  He is a cat person, but loves my dog almost as much as my dog loves him.  And that's the funny thing about cats and dogs, and their owners.

Anyway, back to this joke.

Two dogs and a cat die, and go to heaven.  God approaches the first dog, a German Shepherd, and asks him, what do you believe in? The dog looks God in the eye and says. "I believe in protecting my master and keeping him safe."
God says to him, "You are a good dog, faithful and true. You should sit on my right side!"
He turns to the other dog, a Border Collie, and he asks, what do you believe in?
The Collie replies, "I believe in being obeying my Master's every command."
God says to him, "You are loyal and obedient. You should sit on my left side!"
God then turns to the cat, a sleek Persian, and asks, what do you believe in?
The cat looks at God and says, "I believe you're in my chair!"

So, with that in mind - whether you are a dog person, pr a cat person, or believe in God or not;
I would like to wish you a very happy December!!

Goodwill to All at this time of the year.

The Truth is Out There

truth

/tru:ϴ/

noun

1.    the quality or state of being true.

"he had to accept the truth of her accusation"

synonyms:		veracity, truthfulness, verity, sincerity, candour, honesty, genuineness; More

o    that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.

noun: the truth

"tell me the truth"

synonyms:		the fact of the matter, what actually/really happened, the case, so; More

o    a fact or belief that is accepted as true.

plural noun: truths

"the emergence of scientific truths"

synonyms:

fact, verity, certainty, certitude; More

I was browsing through Facebook the other day and stumbled across a discussion on politics.  Actually, what really happened was, I was browsing Facebook the other day looking for some fun cat memes and had someone else’s political rant subjected upon me.  

The content of the “discussion” was the same as usual – one person saying left-wing is right, the other saying right-wing is right.  Some Liberal saying middle-of-the road is right, everyone shouting down the other opinions, some name calling, some bigotry, some closed minds but very open mouths.

For a start, I have never understood the need some people have to argue with strangers about politics.  What’s the point?  They’re suddenly going to see the light? “Oh wow, I’ve never looked at it like that!  I’ve been wrong all these years!”  Really?  

Whenever I see stuff like that I always recall that wonderful quote; “Never argue with an idiot. People watching won’t be able to tell the difference.”

But the thing I wanted to mention isn’t the futility of arguing with anyone, about anything, on forums and social media – it’s this… buried deep within this rant was someone who said

“You just cannot trust mainstream media to deliver the truth these days.  Thank God for Facebook and Twitter!”

And I almost choked on my cup of coffee over the ridiculousness of that statement.  

It brought to mind another of my favourite quotes – this time attributed to Rick Warren:  “A lie doesn’t become the truth, wrong doesn’t become right, and evil doesn’t become good just because it’s accepted by the majority.”

And that made me think “what is truth”?  What is it really?  Is popular opinion the truth? Well, we all know that’s not correct. Truth is, I suppose, whatever the facts tell us is the truth – but what happens if the person reporting those facts is lying?  Or presents those facts in a biased way so as to skew the perception of them?  How can we ever trust what we are being told is true?

It used to be that we would go to our personal, trusted source for the truth – something like the BBC perhaps?  Or our favourite newspaper?  But in this age of misinformation, I suspect even those media giants are sometimes swayed by the personal bias of the reporter, or maybe even (dare I say it) the political leanings of the moguls that own them?  How can we trust they’re giving us the whole, unbiased, carefully researched truth?

I find it almost impossible to believe anything I see, hear or read these days.  When images can be manipulated, articles faked up to look like coming from genuine sources, and the proliferate use of fake news to discredit people or incite argument. 

How can I trust social media, when some posts are desperate to promote likes, shares and ReTweets – knowing that some of these will end up re-branded and sold on to advertisers for profit, or maybe worse (if you believe everything you read) used to fund terrorism?

One final note – maybe the truth is whatever you want it to be? Maybe you only see what you want to see? Believe what you want to believe?  It used to be that if you didn’t hold with mainstream belief, you’d be labelled a sceptic; and if you believed the goal of the messenger was to promote some self-interest , you’d be a cynic – and these were negative labels” “Oh you’re such a cynic!” or “Stop being so sceptical! Just accept it’s the truth!”

I personally feel we should be more cynical, more sceptical, and willing to disbelieve.  I don’t think we should take anything at face value (or as gospel to use an alternative idiom).  

Before I accept something as the truth, I always think – What’s the source of this information? Can it be verified elsewhere?  What is the writer trying to achieve by writing/publishing this? 
Not everything that is posted on social media is as innocent as it looks, so if you’re unwilling to be sceptical or cynical, at least don’t be gullible!

One more quote before I go. I Googled it so I know it must be true!
"You can't believe everything you read on the internet." ~Abraham Lincoln, 1868

Flights of Fancy

I was just talking to a friend about what our plans are for the weekend.  As it’s likely to be warm and sunny we both agreed gardening and barbecue would be the likely outcome – but we know our plans could change.  The weather might break, relatives might descend upon us unexpectedly.  Who knows?

So then we got to talking about popular TV shows, where the family in an inner city in the UK decide to sell up and move abroad, a place in the sun, living the dream.  What are they hoping to do when they get there?  Well, we’ll buy a couple of bikes and do them up, and cycle to the village and buy some bread and cheese, and we’ll hang out in the local tavern and drink rustic local wines and everything will be lovely.

That, my friend, is a flight of fancy.  It’s what we’d like to think we’d do – but if you’ve ever read “A Year in Provence” by Peter Mayle, you’ll soon realise reality can be a rather rude changer of plans.

What will likely happen is this:  You buy two bikes, do them up to about 50% of what you’d like, but your language barrier means most of the bits you need cannot be bought.  You’ll cycle to the village, but it’s further than you thought, and the speeding locals come dangerously close, and by the time you arrive you’re too exhausted and dirty to want to shop.  You’ll bowl up at the local tavern but the locals distrust strangers – especially those from the UK with their dirty clothing and half renovated bikes.  You cannot understand a word they’re saying, and the wine tastes dreadful because they give you the cheap nasty stuff.

6 months later you realise your pension doesn’t convert well to Euros, and you’re still paying UK tax, so you have to find work.  Your dreams of that little small holding, growing your own fruit and veg, a few chickens becomes a nightmare as you struggle to find enough hours in the day.  The garden looks more like a jungle, you’re still struggling with the language, and the barn you were hoping to convert into a holiday let has had its planning permission denied for the third and final time.  The local mayor no longer answers your calls, and even the bread and cheese has lost its charm.

That inner city life no longer seems so stressful.  At least most of the locals understood you, and the shops in the high street had what you needed, and you had a steady income – even if you were doing a job you were bored with.  “This is your Captain speaking!  FancyFlight 236 from UK will be losing altitude shortly and you may encounter some turbulence.  Please fasten your seatbelts and return all seat backs and trays to an upright position!”

But don’t lose heart.  All change is difficult to start with, and the greatest rewards often follow the bleakest of struggles.  So, when the unexpected relatives turn up, hand them a trowel and pop another couple of sausages on the Barbie – it’ll all work out in the end!

Synchronicity – can it be explained?

The other night I had a vivid dream in which I was going to a party in Africa, and as we trundled along the dusty road we were passed by the actor Terry Thomas.  The other occupants of our truck were trying to recall his name… “Ah, that’s Terry… er, Terry…” So I answered “Duke.  Terry Duke”

Everyone agreed with me, and we went on happily.  We did not encounter Terry again – a cameo, a walk-on part in my imaginary scene.

I won’t bore you further with the dream because the rest of it is immaterial.  What’s important was the name.  Terry Duke.

The next morning I was struck by the name, because as soon as I woke up, I thought “Not Duke, Thomas – he was Terry Thomas!”  But out of curiosity I Googled Terry Duke, and discovered he wrote a book called The Goddess of Wisdom and Me. (Among others).  I downloaded the eBook that very morning and started to read it, and I must say I was hooked – his style of writing and subject content is right up my street!  It struck a chord, resonated in a way that has made me think more deeply about the world I live in, and what might be hidden behind the scenes of what I can see, hear and touch.

So where did his name come from?
I appreciate there’re a million little things that go apparently unnoticed during the day to day that our subconscious retains and spews out in our dreams seemingly at random – and therefore I know it’s stupid to emphatically deny I ever saw anything to do with Terry Duke before the dream – but I swear it’s true!

I can normally identify the various links, themes, concepts, images and such in my dreams – this was sufficiently obtuse to make me wonder why.

And as I sat in the rain swept supermarket car park this morning (waiting for the doors to open at 8am) I watched people driving to work, isolated in their metallic cocoons.  They all seemed oblivious to everything and everyone around them - seeing the other vehicles only enough to avoid collision, but not really aware of the occupants or their lives.  I was struck by how blind we all are; how asleep we are while we are awake, and I wondered whether we can ever truly wake up?

Thank you, Terry Duke, for popping by – It was nice to meet you.

Addendum - It's now May 4th and having read about 65% of the book The Goddess of Wisdom and Me, I must say it veers away from the relationship between a human and a God into a graphically detailed description of what the protagonist would do to "evil" people if he had godlike powers - it all becomes a bit self aggrandisement after a while, so I skipped about 20% to see if it would improve, and it doesn't.  Not sure how Mr Duke got into my head, but I'm showing this particular novel of his the door.  I'm now looking at his 2nd book - The Roswell General Store.

Why do you write?

I was originally going to title this post why do I write, but soon changed it because I want to engage you, invite you into this as a discussion, rather than me monologue at you.

Now I know that you're not really going to respond to my questions, so it's going to end up as a monologue anyway, but I really do want to interact - and that word there, interact, is the crux of why I write.

In real life, I talk a lot.  But not often.  No.  I don't "interact" very much at all, because I don't think I'm all that interesting and I get the impression people would rather be doing something else.  I get interrupted a lot. I... Hold on. Bullet points would be better here!

1. I assume I'm boring because:
   a) people I'm talking to let other people interrupt me.
   b) they talk over me as if what I'm saying is unimportant.
   c) they're not listening anyway.
   
2. I can't make "small talk". I'm not really bothered where you bought your margarine, or how much your shoes cost.  I'm not concerned if your 8 year old son is playing netball this weekend.  I want to know why you don't see in five dimensions.  I want to hear your ghost stories.  I want to know where your atoms were before you were born.
   
3. When I speak, it's because I have something to add to a conversation or topic. Not because I need to fill silence and not because I want people to notice me.  If I wanted people to notice me, I'd dye my hair pink - but that would be bad. Very bad... because people would notice me. (For the wrong reasons!)

Whoa! - do you see what happened there??  I started off wanting to talk about me, changed it to talking about you (to be polite, and engage you) but immediately shifted back to talking about me!  How crass!  Sorry.  Where were we?

Oh yes - why do you write? What do you gain from committing your thoughts and inner quandaries to the public domain, the global forum?  Is it some form of catharsis?  Is it like a Catholic priest's confessional? Oh, wow!  Are you some Orator - like Socrates?  Or a Diarist - like Pepys??

What do you want to achieve?  Do you want people to read your words for entertainment? Do you want to inform? Do you want to make the World a better place?  Persuade someone through your clever use of argument to change their opinion? 

Maybe you're not a writer - maybe you prefer to read?  OK - in that case this post is only tenuously linked to you, but you could just substitute write for read, and carry on...

The most important question though, is, Why Are You Here? Are you looking for inspiration? Guidance?

Idle Curiosity? Did you search key-words in Google and click on my link or did you click Next... somewhere and end up here by mistake?  Are you searching for blogging enlightenment?  Are you looking for some inner wisdom?  Did you wake up this morning and think "Hang on a sec... Where DID the iron in my blood come from?"

(I can sort of answer that last one, but it'd have to be another time)

Why, why, WHY do you write?  Do you want to know why I write?  Because of this.  Because you - YOU, whoever you are, wherever you are, are right here... HERE... now.  I have touched your life for the (in the Universe's time-frame) briefest moment, and I have connected with you.  Two human beings coming together for a moment.  That is awesome, don't you think?  I have written something, and you are reading it right this moment!  You could be on the other side of the world in 2018, or on Mars Colony in 2156.  You are  listening to me speaking to you, and I am so happy because of this.  So very happy.

Why do I write?  Because I want to connect.  I just want to reach out and touch another person's mind, albeit briefly, and be there - just for a moment, and for that moment, be alive in their mind. I want to help them think, just for a fraction, about who they are, how they connect with other people - and if, as a result, they send someone a letter, or a text, or an email, and connect - then my writing has done what I hope it would do - inspire someone else to write.

So. Why do you write?

Why we never grow old

Today I want to broach the subject of why we never grow old.
"But that's rubbish Collywobs!  Of course we grow old."
Well, we do, but also we don't.

Our bodies age, sure - but tell me, what age are you in your head?  I bet you are somewhere between a late teenager and about 30.  My physical age is 53, but I still feel 30 ish.  I dream I can run and climb and parkour like I could when I was that age, and my physical appearance in my dreams is of that age.

I never dream that I am grey haired, over-weight and getting on in years.  That is only my physical body.
So while, biologically, my system is deteriorating, mentally I am a youth.

I know there are some pretty nasty illnesses out there that can rob us of this faculty, and I hope that one day we find a cure for them - because I believe nothing robs us of our dignity more, than losing our identity, memory and sense of self.  But as we age, I find it fascinating that our mental age never really changes beyond the age of 30 ish.  Why is that?

Science would say that we develop, mentally, in stages of 7 years - that the first 7 years we develop motor skills, speech and reasoning and so on.  From 7 to 14 we develop social skills, a sense of our own identity, and an idea of who we want to be.

From 14 to 21 we start to wonder where we fit in with the world, what do we want to do with our lives?  What career?  We discover the rest of the world and sometimes want to explore it.  We develop our sense of sexuality and understand our developing emotions.  And 21 to 28?  Well, by the time we get to 28, hopefully we're about where we want to be, with the person we want to be with, doing what we think we were born to do.

Now I know this is all very general and loose and glib, but I think once we reach this stage, our mind stops "growing".  That's not to say we don't develop our cognitive skills any more, or improve at all - but I think our mental clock that ticks our life away stops about then - it's almost like we've accelerated from nought to 28, and then we cruise.  I don't think we age (mentally) from then on.

So why is that?  I think it's a survival mechanism - similar to pushing through pain and not giving up.  If we allow ourselves to start dwelling on getting old, I think we would start expecting to feel old, and with that would come a sense of dread - Old Father Time and the Grim Reaper checking their schedule to pencil you in.  Instead, I think we remain young in our heads to keep us believing in a form of immortality, extending our own life expectancy, warding off the onset of old age. 

What do you think?