I was thinking about my friend Helen today. Well, no. I was thinking about Helen, who I thought was my friend. Who once upon a time may have been a friend. She's not my friend now.
You may think we had some major argument, that she or I did something terrible to the other. You'd be wrong - she just changed jobs.
When we worked together she would chat to me about how crap her life was, and I would offer her sympathy, a non-judging ear. I'd tell her how great she was, I would bolster her confidence in herself and make her feel positive about her world. I was a shoulder to cry on, and a solid dependable rock to lean on. I really thought I made a difference in her life. That the years we knew each other were good times.
Then she left her job to pursue another career.
She dropped me from her Facebook friends. She ignored my emails and texts.
Fearing I'd done something terribly wrong to her without knowing I emailed and asked what it was? What had I done that cut her off from me?
She replied. Nothing. She was just really busy. Of course she'd add me back on Facebook. Of course we were still friends.
And that, I'm afraid to say, was the last I ever heard from Helen.
Friends come and friends go. Each friendship brings something with it and takes something away. They alter our lives, guide us on our way through life. They hold our hand when we're scared, teach us when we need to learn, salve us when we're hurt. Usually they're mutual, a symbiotic relationship. Usually.
I have only learned one thing from knowing Helen. She was no friend.
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Keeping in Touch
As I was on my laptop the other day playing Candy Crush, the TV on in the background, daughter upstairs in bed asleep, wife doing the same thing on her mobile phone, it occurred to me what a tiny insular life I was making myself live.
In this day and age of enhanced communication technology, I find myself actually communicating less than before computers and telephones were commonplace! I used to spend hours writing a letter - 5 or 6 pages of A4 paper, both sides filled with chatter and trivia, sent via snail-mail, then await the reply - if you ever got one - weeks later.
Now, with e-mail, texts, blogs, Facebook, Twitter and websites at my disposal, I find myself playing Candy Crush! I should be keeping in touch with my friends - a quick text, a poke, a tweet, and email. I should be writing my daughter's journal, I should be adding a page on here, I should be writing my own journal, I should be adding a page or two to my notebook.
So, the other day I went through my email account contacts, found someone I'd not spoken to since, well, since the last family funeral, and I sent them an email. A few days later I got a fantastic reply - and the miles between us, the months between us, shrank to nothing.
I emailed my best mate - whose life is as busy and as full and as complicated as my own and who I never see these days. Not got a reply from him yet, but hey - small steps huh?
I have written another few pages in my daughter's journal. I've emailed her too.
And now I'm writing this.
In this day and age of almost effortless communication, it's easy to become complacent though. It's easy to get sidetracked away from staying in touch with our friends and family, to become distracted by Candy Crush - when one of the greatest pleasures is to get a message from someone close to you. So, make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, fire up that email provider and scan through your contacts - find someone you've not been in touch with for a while and drop them a line. Who knows where it might lead??
In this day and age of enhanced communication technology, I find myself actually communicating less than before computers and telephones were commonplace! I used to spend hours writing a letter - 5 or 6 pages of A4 paper, both sides filled with chatter and trivia, sent via snail-mail, then await the reply - if you ever got one - weeks later.
Now, with e-mail, texts, blogs, Facebook, Twitter and websites at my disposal, I find myself playing Candy Crush! I should be keeping in touch with my friends - a quick text, a poke, a tweet, and email. I should be writing my daughter's journal, I should be adding a page on here, I should be writing my own journal, I should be adding a page or two to my notebook.
So, the other day I went through my email account contacts, found someone I'd not spoken to since, well, since the last family funeral, and I sent them an email. A few days later I got a fantastic reply - and the miles between us, the months between us, shrank to nothing.
I emailed my best mate - whose life is as busy and as full and as complicated as my own and who I never see these days. Not got a reply from him yet, but hey - small steps huh?
I have written another few pages in my daughter's journal. I've emailed her too.
And now I'm writing this.
In this day and age of almost effortless communication, it's easy to become complacent though. It's easy to get sidetracked away from staying in touch with our friends and family, to become distracted by Candy Crush - when one of the greatest pleasures is to get a message from someone close to you. So, make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, fire up that email provider and scan through your contacts - find someone you've not been in touch with for a while and drop them a line. Who knows where it might lead??
Saturday, 9 February 2013
I Can't Believe it's February!!
There I was, basking in the afterglow of the Christmas/New Year fallout, and suddenly it's February!
Almost Midwinter. Then it'll be Spring in a few weeks, closely followed by Easter, and the clocks going forward. Whilst I'm looking forward to the new buds, spring flowers, new life and the promise of summer, I also don't want my life to rush away too fast.
I'd quite like to languish in the cold and dismal-ness of Winter, thank you. Like a thirsty person waiting for a drink of water, I would like my time to drift by slowly, as time was intended to pass, building an expectation of what is to come. What I don't want is my time to flash by unnoticed - hurrying along so fast that before I know it, my life is over and I've missed the cool bits.
Almost Midwinter. Then it'll be Spring in a few weeks, closely followed by Easter, and the clocks going forward. Whilst I'm looking forward to the new buds, spring flowers, new life and the promise of summer, I also don't want my life to rush away too fast.
I'd quite like to languish in the cold and dismal-ness of Winter, thank you. Like a thirsty person waiting for a drink of water, I would like my time to drift by slowly, as time was intended to pass, building an expectation of what is to come. What I don't want is my time to flash by unnoticed - hurrying along so fast that before I know it, my life is over and I've missed the cool bits.
Thursday, 27 December 2012
New Year Approaches
Well, with Christmas slowly dropping behind us we have New Year approaching.
In this day and age of our high tech, busy lives. Governed by the atomic clock, electronic calendars, invitations and appointments on Facebook, Global news on Twitter.
I like to look at the bare trees, the dark evenings and early mornings, the wild seas and the neglected fields and remind myself that, despite all the modern gadgets and gizmos, the World continues on as it has done for thousands of years.
When our ancestors decided to break down their lives in manageable chunks, inventing days of the week and months of the year (names after their Gods and revered leaders) and the Seasons - taking the path of the Sun and the Moon to mark auspicious occasions - Solstices - the highs and lows of the Year - they were in tune with their surroundings, in tune with Nature.
Festivals were held to celebrate these important occasions - Harvest Festival, Christmas, New Year, May Day. Charting the progress of the year and giving thanks for the bounty that Nature provides us all.
To celebrate the ending of the old year, to bring cheer and merriment during the cold dark months and look forward to a new beginning. To mourn the passing of the old, ready to be reborn, resurrected into the New.
It's no wonder that so many of our Faiths and Beliefs reflect these ideologies and rituals.
They have been ingrained into us ever since we started tracking the herds to hunt, planting seeds to grow, sailing the seas to explore.
I only hope we never allow the technology to take us too far from this intrinsic bond with Nature and our World.
In this day and age of our high tech, busy lives. Governed by the atomic clock, electronic calendars, invitations and appointments on Facebook, Global news on Twitter.
I like to look at the bare trees, the dark evenings and early mornings, the wild seas and the neglected fields and remind myself that, despite all the modern gadgets and gizmos, the World continues on as it has done for thousands of years.
When our ancestors decided to break down their lives in manageable chunks, inventing days of the week and months of the year (names after their Gods and revered leaders) and the Seasons - taking the path of the Sun and the Moon to mark auspicious occasions - Solstices - the highs and lows of the Year - they were in tune with their surroundings, in tune with Nature.
Festivals were held to celebrate these important occasions - Harvest Festival, Christmas, New Year, May Day. Charting the progress of the year and giving thanks for the bounty that Nature provides us all.
To celebrate the ending of the old year, to bring cheer and merriment during the cold dark months and look forward to a new beginning. To mourn the passing of the old, ready to be reborn, resurrected into the New.
It's no wonder that so many of our Faiths and Beliefs reflect these ideologies and rituals.
They have been ingrained into us ever since we started tracking the herds to hunt, planting seeds to grow, sailing the seas to explore.
I only hope we never allow the technology to take us too far from this intrinsic bond with Nature and our World.
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Christmas Cheer
Christmas is fast approaching and we as a family are all organised – no last minute rushing about for us.
I know that, to some people, that’s what Christmas is all about – the hectic bustle and mild panic of last-minute shopping, trying to get stuff wrapped up the night before, remembering at the last minute to post the overseas cards.
Not for me, thank you. I fall into the Bah Humbug category – and am fortunate to have a very organised wife. We have Christmas well under control from about June onwards, and if we actually hit December and the decorations are not up, the cards have not been sent, the presents not wrapped and the shopping done, then there’s something seriously amiss.
I don’t really enjoy Christmas – too much fuss and fake goodwill. A good excuse to eat too much, drink too much and watch the usual roll-out of Christmas specials on the TV.
So, to all you people out there, please allow me to wish you a very Happy Christmas – I hope it brings you whatever it is you are looking for – be it Peace on Earth, Goodwill to All, or another glass of wine to go with the turkey sandwiches on Boxing day!
Friday, 27 July 2012
I read a blog the other day about someone that's given up their Facebook account and "switched off" a network of 555 friends. She cited deciding to make her social networking 3D - not virtual, but real. She said she didn't want every aspect of her life to be published for everyone to see. I'm paraphrasing, but I have one or two objections to raise.
1. Who really has 555 friends? I don't even know 555 people, let alone call them friends.
2. Yes, we need to remember to keep our social network 3D, but there is also a place for Facebook and the like.
3. There is only one person in control of what you publish on Facebook - you. You don't need to show that you've done the ironing on your status. You put on there your milestones, your achievements - but the ones you want to SHARE. If you want to keep something private, keep it private - resist the temptation to post it!
What I like about Facebook is how you look at your list of friends, and you see you and someone else have a mutual friend and you think "I didn't know they knew each other"!
: D
1. Who really has 555 friends? I don't even know 555 people, let alone call them friends.
2. Yes, we need to remember to keep our social network 3D, but there is also a place for Facebook and the like.
3. There is only one person in control of what you publish on Facebook - you. You don't need to show that you've done the ironing on your status. You put on there your milestones, your achievements - but the ones you want to SHARE. If you want to keep something private, keep it private - resist the temptation to post it!
What I like about Facebook is how you look at your list of friends, and you see you and someone else have a mutual friend and you think "I didn't know they knew each other"!
: D
2012 Olympics
I'm watching the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony and I am deeply touched seeing all the various nation's athletes coming together in peace and in celebration and in competition. Makes me wish once more for World peace. If we could only all behave towards each other as we are tonight... With Respect.
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