Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
It's been two months and three days since my last post!
It's so easy to forget to do devote the time to writing when there are other things going on. Work, cooking, helping my wife with her business, gardening, shopping, watching TV.
But there's no real excuse for letting your discipline slide. It's not laziness. It's distraction, and a little bit of forgetfulness, with a smidgen of dreaded "what should I write about?" thrown in for good measure.
But I really like writing. Even if what I write is never seen by another soul (although I'd much prefer it if it were) I write it anyway.
I keep a journal - A5 plain paper notebook (nu: elite) and in it I write how I'm feeling, what I'm doing, To Do lists, I paste in tickets and labels of things I like - wine and whiskey mainly! I'll add pictures that inspire me, quotes and my own doodles, drawings and sketches. The occasional photograph, stamps, a bit of ribbon or a luggage label, Post-It note, whatever.
The only person likely to ever read it is my (currently 10 years old) daughter - when she's older. So I write it for her I suppose. A constant record of who I am, what I like,how I feel about my home, my family, my work, my life.
My parents died when I was 6 - A part of me wishes I knew them better. Not something my daughter will ever have to worry about! My Journals, my Blog, My Facebook account. I created her an email account when she was a few years old so that I could create her a FB account (so that we can tag her to stuff, build up her timeline), and so I email her every now and then - just to say I love you, or I'm thinking about you, or maybe some fatherly advice.
She doesn't have access to it yet, nor can she log into her Facebook account yet. It's all there for when she's older.
I have also kept a Word document going since she was born - an ongoing diary of being a first time parent - but it records everything. Her first clap, first laugh, first word, first steps. Her likes and dislikes, what she's reading, watching on TV Her favourite foods, toys, friends. And how I feel - happy, sad, exhausted, frustrated, confused, ecstatic, proud, elated. I'm sure she'll find it handy when she has her first child?
As I said, I really like writing. I might never get published, or read outside of a very small audience, but I don't write for recognition or fame or wealth. I write because I enjoy it.
Full stop.
Three Hail Mary's and I'll be fine.
Thank you for reading this! You might also like:
http://collywobs.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/writing.html
Thursday, 30 June 2016
Tuesday, 15 March 2016
Respect - The keystone to life?
I was walking my dog the other day, and stood aside to let a college girl past us. She said a very polite thank you.
Just then a group of three student lads passed by, rowdy, full of it - cocky in their youth.
I then dipped into an entirely imaginary scenario where the lads started teasing the girl, calling her names, wolf-whistles etc. I had experienced this sort of behavior loads of times in London, which is probably why I was expecting it.
In my imagined scenario, I challenge the behavior, stand up for the girl. I am noble and courageous - their youth and numbers do not intimidate me.
As I continue to walk home I develop my speech, refine it, hone it, until to me it becomes worthy of a Shakespearean soliloquy! Now, I know all this might seem a bit pointless, recording this here now - but in fact the message is possibly worth sharing. It's all about respect.
In my imagined confrontation, I suggest the lads leave the girl alone. I tell them that whatever they may think of the girl, or know about her, their behavior is unacceptable. I suffer the usual taunts of "who are you? Her granddad?" and so on - which I bear with unflinching stoicism. My retort is not meant to me antagonistic nor unkind.
I reply that despite what they may think of her, they should still treat her with a little respect. If they did that, then I would have more respect for them, and if that were so, I would hope they would have a little respect for me.
I go on to explain that education, intelligence and being clever isn't always all it is cracked up to be. That having a degree does not guarantee a future, that attaining a diploma, without a hint of humility or respect does not mean you'll get a job.
I give an example of where, at a recent job interview I had to decide between two candidates - one that had qualifications coming out of his ears but was arrogant about it, and one that had less education, but showed respect and humility. I'd be far more inclined to employ the latter - i said.
Respect encourages forgiveness, it fosters good relations, and increases the chances of greater opportunities. No one likes a smart-arse. No matter how qualified you are, how talented - interpersonal skills are equally as important.
By the time I got home and the dog was curled up in his bed, satisfied by his wanderings, I had put the whole world to rights!
I believe this to be true. You can be the best qualified person for a role, highly skilled, completely competent, and possibly the person who should be chosen - but if your attitude stinks, if you fail to show some respect, you may find that door closing in your face.
Just then a group of three student lads passed by, rowdy, full of it - cocky in their youth.
I then dipped into an entirely imaginary scenario where the lads started teasing the girl, calling her names, wolf-whistles etc. I had experienced this sort of behavior loads of times in London, which is probably why I was expecting it.
In my imagined scenario, I challenge the behavior, stand up for the girl. I am noble and courageous - their youth and numbers do not intimidate me.
As I continue to walk home I develop my speech, refine it, hone it, until to me it becomes worthy of a Shakespearean soliloquy! Now, I know all this might seem a bit pointless, recording this here now - but in fact the message is possibly worth sharing. It's all about respect.
In my imagined confrontation, I suggest the lads leave the girl alone. I tell them that whatever they may think of the girl, or know about her, their behavior is unacceptable. I suffer the usual taunts of "who are you? Her granddad?" and so on - which I bear with unflinching stoicism. My retort is not meant to me antagonistic nor unkind.
I reply that despite what they may think of her, they should still treat her with a little respect. If they did that, then I would have more respect for them, and if that were so, I would hope they would have a little respect for me.
I go on to explain that education, intelligence and being clever isn't always all it is cracked up to be. That having a degree does not guarantee a future, that attaining a diploma, without a hint of humility or respect does not mean you'll get a job.
I give an example of where, at a recent job interview I had to decide between two candidates - one that had qualifications coming out of his ears but was arrogant about it, and one that had less education, but showed respect and humility. I'd be far more inclined to employ the latter - i said.
Respect encourages forgiveness, it fosters good relations, and increases the chances of greater opportunities. No one likes a smart-arse. No matter how qualified you are, how talented - interpersonal skills are equally as important.
By the time I got home and the dog was curled up in his bed, satisfied by his wanderings, I had put the whole world to rights!
I believe this to be true. You can be the best qualified person for a role, highly skilled, completely competent, and possibly the person who should be chosen - but if your attitude stinks, if you fail to show some respect, you may find that door closing in your face.
Tuesday, 11 August 2015
Opinions
You will realise one day
that people like the sound of their own voice.
Some people think that their
opinion is so important; they’ll talk over someone else to express it. When a discussion takes place, the one with
the loudest voice will drown out the more considered views. I see it all the time, people will be
chatting about something – I think I have something valid to add, I wait for a
gap in the conversation, start to say my bit, only to find I’m talked over and
ignored – like my input, my voice, isn’t worth listening to. So I shut up.
Now I used to think it’s
because I talk rubbish, but in fact it’s because I don’t talk about the subjects
they want to talk about or because I disagree with them, or maybe they just
think I’m boring? I often find their
subject boring, mundane, pointless or just plain wrong – but at least I give
them the courtesy of listening.
It’s said that people
like that are assertive, are passionate about what they believe in. I think they’re just ignorant. Either that or they’re afraid. Afraid that if someone else gets heard, then
they’ll be ignored, shut out, talked over.
It frustrates me that I
am often ignored. I am angered by other
people’s lack of manners, but shouting louder is not going to solve the
issue. Instead, choose your moments
wisely, make sure what you say is valid and accurate and concise. Great speakers don’t always shout their
message loudest, they engage their audience, capture their attention and hold
them enthralled. If you can learn to do
that, you could whisper your opinion and it would be heard.
Monday, 10 August 2015
Why is it so hard to change my lifestyle?
15 years ago I gave up
smoking overnight – just decided that now was the right time for me, and I went
cold turkey. I knew it was bad for me,
and my new girlfriend didn’t like it, so I stubbed out my last cigarette and
haven’t looked back since.
But now I want to cut
down on alcohol use, yet the little voice in my head still whispers about
having a glass of wine, and I cannot walk past the bottle of scotch without a
sideways glance! When I do then have a
drink, I find it hard to limit the consumption to a sensible amount – a glass
or two becomes three or four, then a shot or two to follow. I wake next morning feeling rough, vowing to
myself “never again” but that is soon forgotten. I never learn.
I know I need to cut down
on eating salty food, and fatty food, and processed food, but the lure of the Chinese
takeaway is too great. Or another packet
of crisps! At the moment I’m eating
those pasta-in-a-mug type packets, which are laden with salt, sugar, and other
stuff that’s not good for me – but I choose the less than 3% fat ones to fool
myself into thinking I’m opting for the healthier choice.
I love cooking and
preparing food – I can quite happily prepare a delicious salad with something like
fishcakes to accompany it – but if there’s the slightest hint that I could have
some junk food, I’ll gladly put off the healthier food choice in favour of the
fast food fix. I seem to be addicted to
fatty, salty foods!
Then there’s the whole
exercise thing. I know I need to stay
fit in order to get the most out of life.
I don’t much care for swimming, I find it quite boring. I like cycling though, but despite thinking “I
fancy a bike ride” I never get the bike out! I own a dozen fitness dvd’s and a
wii fit, a Reebok step, a skipping rope, dumbells – none of them get used! Why am I so lazy? I know deep down that any effort I make today
will reap rewards several times over tomorrow, and that once I get into the
exercise routine, the addictive quality of the endorphins will keep me going –
so why is it so hard to start?
I know these small,
simple lifestyle changes are easy to make.
I know the change will be for the best, and that if I gave myself a
chance, I would enjoy the changes. My
quality of life will be greatly improved, my health and vitality will be
better. My sleep will improve, my energy
will increase, my attention will not so easily be distracted. I will look and feel better. I will be happier.
So why can’t I just get
started? Why is my will so weak? I’ve even tried small steps – “just make one
small change today!” Er…no. Grab some crisps and watch TV instead. OK, great idea! Is it laziness or lack of motivation? Do I not care that I’m restricting myself to
a life of being overweight and lethargic?
It just doesn’t make sense!
Wednesday, 27 May 2015
Am I a Geek, a Nerd, or just having a Mid Life Crisis?
This is me laughing at myself...
I'm not really laughing. I'm wondering whether I'm riding the wave of social media-blogging-pinteresting stumbling, tumbling youtubing infomedia - as a 51 year old overweight male, enjoying a freedom of information, trawling the 'net in an awesome horizon broadening knowledge download. Or am I just going through a midlife crisis?
I was born in the 60's - and if I wanted to send my cousin in the USA a picture of me on holiday I whipped out the Kodak, reeled off 24 or 36 pictures - the quality of which would only be revealed by my local Boots chemist after I'd jetted back from wherever (never to return). The photograph would be accompanied by a handwritten letter on the thinnest of thin paper, slid carefully into a thinner blue envelope and posted Par Avion, to arrive a few weeks later (if at all).
But now, I can snap the moment on my smartphone, and if I don't like it I can snap it again, and I can edit the picture, and I can email or SMS is to anyone in the World close to instantaneously - or I can upload to my social media site and tag to my hearts content. I can check in, and hey, in a years time I will be reminded of where I was, who I was with and what my political leanings were. I might even have a picture of what I had for dinner!
Once upon a time, if I needed to find out how to strip down a lawnmower I would either ask my granddad, find a friendly lawnmower repair shop tucked down some alley way off the High Street, or I'd go to my local library and look in the reference section. No longer do I have that inconvenience! Just as well, because granddads are a dying breed now - soon to be replaced by "why don't you Google it?" The little shop has closed down because people will now throw away the defective mower and buy a new one, and I am amazed we still have libraries!
I have embraced this new technology with open arms. I love my laptop/tablet/smartphone. I play Scrabble on my smartphone. On my own.
If I thought I was antisocial before the advent of this technology, Lord only knows what I am now!
When I was a kid, if you wanted a moving image in a notebook you drew little stick figures in the bottom corner on every page, making each one a little different, and flicked through them to form a flick-book. Now, my daughter asks if she can do her homework in PowerPoint so she can animate it!
My worry is am I a geek, a nerd or just a sad middle aged man trying to be cool?
The upside of this however is things like this blog. I'm just writing my thoughts down, some random chatter that's meant to be funny. If I wanted to do this years ago I'd have to have a job with a newspaper or a magazine - publishing my byline fortnightly. I would need to have studied, qualified, acquired references, developed a portfolio, networked at parties (ugh! sorry, there's my antisocial side showing again) and made connections - but now I just ramble on here and if I'm lucky, people will read it.
The downside though is, the internet is full of this stuff. That journalist went through all that malarkey for a reason - to weed out the dross, so that articles were only written by accomplished writers, who checked their facts, who researched their subject, who were accountable for their plagiarism, slander and such. The veracity of some of what you see on the internet cannot be guaranteed, and posts on social media get shared and liked and bandied about without anyone checking if what they're publishing is true or not.
I like this new world that I'm a part of, where so much of what you want or need is at your fingertips. It's what I dreamed about in the 70's - being a part of the world, and not just a part of my street. If I wanted broader horizons I certainly got them!
I'm not really laughing. I'm wondering whether I'm riding the wave of social media-blogging-pinteresting stumbling, tumbling youtubing infomedia - as a 51 year old overweight male, enjoying a freedom of information, trawling the 'net in an awesome horizon broadening knowledge download. Or am I just going through a midlife crisis?
I was born in the 60's - and if I wanted to send my cousin in the USA a picture of me on holiday I whipped out the Kodak, reeled off 24 or 36 pictures - the quality of which would only be revealed by my local Boots chemist after I'd jetted back from wherever (never to return). The photograph would be accompanied by a handwritten letter on the thinnest of thin paper, slid carefully into a thinner blue envelope and posted Par Avion, to arrive a few weeks later (if at all).
But now, I can snap the moment on my smartphone, and if I don't like it I can snap it again, and I can edit the picture, and I can email or SMS is to anyone in the World close to instantaneously - or I can upload to my social media site and tag to my hearts content. I can check in, and hey, in a years time I will be reminded of where I was, who I was with and what my political leanings were. I might even have a picture of what I had for dinner!
Once upon a time, if I needed to find out how to strip down a lawnmower I would either ask my granddad, find a friendly lawnmower repair shop tucked down some alley way off the High Street, or I'd go to my local library and look in the reference section. No longer do I have that inconvenience! Just as well, because granddads are a dying breed now - soon to be replaced by "why don't you Google it?" The little shop has closed down because people will now throw away the defective mower and buy a new one, and I am amazed we still have libraries!
I have embraced this new technology with open arms. I love my laptop/tablet/smartphone. I play Scrabble on my smartphone. On my own.
If I thought I was antisocial before the advent of this technology, Lord only knows what I am now!
When I was a kid, if you wanted a moving image in a notebook you drew little stick figures in the bottom corner on every page, making each one a little different, and flicked through them to form a flick-book. Now, my daughter asks if she can do her homework in PowerPoint so she can animate it!
My worry is am I a geek, a nerd or just a sad middle aged man trying to be cool?
The upside of this however is things like this blog. I'm just writing my thoughts down, some random chatter that's meant to be funny. If I wanted to do this years ago I'd have to have a job with a newspaper or a magazine - publishing my byline fortnightly. I would need to have studied, qualified, acquired references, developed a portfolio, networked at parties (ugh! sorry, there's my antisocial side showing again) and made connections - but now I just ramble on here and if I'm lucky, people will read it.
The downside though is, the internet is full of this stuff. That journalist went through all that malarkey for a reason - to weed out the dross, so that articles were only written by accomplished writers, who checked their facts, who researched their subject, who were accountable for their plagiarism, slander and such. The veracity of some of what you see on the internet cannot be guaranteed, and posts on social media get shared and liked and bandied about without anyone checking if what they're publishing is true or not.
I like this new world that I'm a part of, where so much of what you want or need is at your fingertips. It's what I dreamed about in the 70's - being a part of the world, and not just a part of my street. If I wanted broader horizons I certainly got them!
Tuesday, 4 November 2014
Busy
As I walked to my office from the car earlier I noticed the russet and golden colour of the falling leaves, the slight chill in the air, the smell of early fireworks in the air and it suddenly occurred to me that it's November.
So basically, I have been so busy this year, I've managed to miss whole months of it without really noticing!
I said that sentence in my head, and for a brief moment, I believed it! But it's not true - I have noticed the passing of time and never once did I decide to stop and pay any attention to it. I have been busy, but not so busy that I couldn't reflect on the day, week or month that I've lived in.
When I think now about the year that has almost passed, I can pick out many memorable occasions, things done, films seen, meals eaten, stories read and so on - so it has hardly rushed by in a blur!
It's funny how we "blame" being busy for not paying attention - and that's essentially what I've done this year - I have allowed myself to be lazy, to not pay attention. In Buddhist terminology I have not lived in the moment. I have not been mindful, and as a result of this, I am approaching Christmas thinking I've lost a lot of the year - but this is my own misconception - so rather than blame being busy, I think I'll blame not paying attention - something I know my long suffering wife will agree with!
So basically, I have been so busy this year, I've managed to miss whole months of it without really noticing!
I said that sentence in my head, and for a brief moment, I believed it! But it's not true - I have noticed the passing of time and never once did I decide to stop and pay any attention to it. I have been busy, but not so busy that I couldn't reflect on the day, week or month that I've lived in.
When I think now about the year that has almost passed, I can pick out many memorable occasions, things done, films seen, meals eaten, stories read and so on - so it has hardly rushed by in a blur!
It's funny how we "blame" being busy for not paying attention - and that's essentially what I've done this year - I have allowed myself to be lazy, to not pay attention. In Buddhist terminology I have not lived in the moment. I have not been mindful, and as a result of this, I am approaching Christmas thinking I've lost a lot of the year - but this is my own misconception - so rather than blame being busy, I think I'll blame not paying attention - something I know my long suffering wife will agree with!
Sunday, 1 June 2014
An Unlikely Meeting of Souls.
So, there I was, chatting to my friend in the States on Facebook. Unremarkable in itself I suppose?
I first met my friend in a virtual farmer's market, looking for work. I cannot remember now whether I hired her first or she hired me, but whatever happened, we said Hi, like you do, and swapped polite pleasantries.
We each rehired the other on an almost daily basis, and from there became "friends" on Facebook.
I know more about this new friend whom I have never met than some of my "real" friends. We keep in touch, and I like that we've met through these odd circumstances.
I have another friend in the States that I met exactly the same way.
Once upon a time we would have met on a cruise, or a holiday somewhere. Rarely do these holiday friendships last though. You are forced together by your circumstances, often you share a dining table, or a spot at the beach. But this Facebook game was somehow very different. To this day, Debbie and I have never met, and never physically spoken to each other. Nor have Aprille and I - and yet our friendships have endured despite this limitation!
Friendship is an amazing thing. I have worked with people for years, but would not count them as my friends. I have known some of my "friends" for years, but know next to nothing about them, and always forget their birthdays. There are some people I would go out of my way to help and support, but they are not my friends. There are people that I thought were my friends, but obviously they are not. (See blog entry Friendship? That Ship Has Sailed)
So, how can total strangers meet in a virtual farm on a social network site, and in less that 10 minutes, decide they want to meet up again? How can they then form a friendship that lasts years with only occasional, sporadic contact? What is it about the way our minds work that allow us to make such amazing judgements in such a short time? When I ask Debbie why she re-hired me that day, she said "Because you were a gentleman". Something about our first meeting impressed her enough to chance another.
So, be careful what first impression you make - whether it is at a party, in a crisis, or at an interview. That first impression will count. And a lot of people out there think "oh well, if I fluff my first impression, I can always redeem my reputation next time!" Sadly, if you fluff your first impression, you'll be lucky if there is a next time!
So I'm grateful that my first impression with Debbie and Aprille meant there was a second!
Our lives are bound together by these amazing, complicated connections - these unlikely meetings of souls!
I first met my friend in a virtual farmer's market, looking for work. I cannot remember now whether I hired her first or she hired me, but whatever happened, we said Hi, like you do, and swapped polite pleasantries.
We each rehired the other on an almost daily basis, and from there became "friends" on Facebook.
I know more about this new friend whom I have never met than some of my "real" friends. We keep in touch, and I like that we've met through these odd circumstances.
I have another friend in the States that I met exactly the same way.
Once upon a time we would have met on a cruise, or a holiday somewhere. Rarely do these holiday friendships last though. You are forced together by your circumstances, often you share a dining table, or a spot at the beach. But this Facebook game was somehow very different. To this day, Debbie and I have never met, and never physically spoken to each other. Nor have Aprille and I - and yet our friendships have endured despite this limitation!
Friendship is an amazing thing. I have worked with people for years, but would not count them as my friends. I have known some of my "friends" for years, but know next to nothing about them, and always forget their birthdays. There are some people I would go out of my way to help and support, but they are not my friends. There are people that I thought were my friends, but obviously they are not. (See blog entry Friendship? That Ship Has Sailed)
So, how can total strangers meet in a virtual farm on a social network site, and in less that 10 minutes, decide they want to meet up again? How can they then form a friendship that lasts years with only occasional, sporadic contact? What is it about the way our minds work that allow us to make such amazing judgements in such a short time? When I ask Debbie why she re-hired me that day, she said "Because you were a gentleman". Something about our first meeting impressed her enough to chance another.
So, be careful what first impression you make - whether it is at a party, in a crisis, or at an interview. That first impression will count. And a lot of people out there think "oh well, if I fluff my first impression, I can always redeem my reputation next time!" Sadly, if you fluff your first impression, you'll be lucky if there is a next time!
So I'm grateful that my first impression with Debbie and Aprille meant there was a second!
Our lives are bound together by these amazing, complicated connections - these unlikely meetings of souls!
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